There is a line between anger that wounds and anger that heals — and Thomas Aquinas understood it well. He wrote, "He who is not angry when there is just cause for anger is immoral. Why? Because anger looks to the good of justice, and if you can live amid injustice without anger, you are immoral as well as unjust." Those words stir something deep in me. For years, I was afraid of anger, equating it with sin or loss of control. Yet Aquinas reminds us that there is such a thing as righteous anger — the kind that flows not from pride, but from love. It is love's protective flame, a fire that refuses to let injustice, cruelty, or deception go unchallenged. When I see someone mistreated or truth distorted, that ache I feel is not hate — it is the echo of God's own heart for righteousness. To remain silent in such moments would be to betray the very values I hold dear: love, courage, and compassion. Even Jesus displayed holy anger when He drove the money changers from the temple. His zeal was not violence; it was love defending what was sacred. He overturned tables not to destroy, but to restore purity to His Father’s house. 📖 "Be angry, and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your wrath." — Ephesians 4:26 (NKJV) There are times when we, as followers of Christ, will be called upon to stand up with a holy 'NO!' in the face of evil and injustice. We are called to be obedient to Truth, not compliant to lies. • Silence in the face of evil is in itself evil. • God will not hold us guiltless. • Not to speak is to speak. • Not to act is to act. As Archbishop Desmond Tutu said: "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse, and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality."  — Desmond Tutu We are called to the same holy balance: to let anger serve justice, not self. To let it kindle action, not bitterness. When anger aligns with love, it becomes courage in motion — the boldness to stand up for the broken, to speak truth when silence feels safer. So today, if your heart burns at the sight of injustice, do not rush to extinguish that flame. Bring it to God. Let Him purify it, shape it, and send it forth as light rather than heat. Because when love burns for what is right, anger becomes holy. 💡Reflection: When have I witnessed injustice or wrongdoing and chosen silence over action?🤔 What held me back?🤔 How can I discern when anger is rooted in love rather than pride or hurt?🤔 What might righteous anger look like in my life today — where is God calling me to speak or act with courage?🤔 How can I bring my emotions before God and let Him purify them into compassion-driven courage?🤔 '🙌🏻Prayer: Lord, teach me the difference between destructive anger and righteous zeal. Help me to feel deeply without losing peace, to act justly without harming others, and to let my emotions reflect Your holy heart. Let my anger be a servant of love, never its master.

All too often, we judge ourselves by our intentions but others by their actions. We may think our intentions allow us to say or do certain things, yet God sees beyond the surface — He looks straight into our hearts. Our true intentions always reveal themselves in the fruit of what we do. If our words or actions cause harm, destroy trust, or fracture community, it’s time to pause and look honestly within. Good intentions don’t excuse painful impact. When someone tells us they’re hurt — or when people walk away wounded by something we said or did — love doesn’t defend itself. Love listens, apologises, and learns. God doesn’t call us to be perfect; He calls us to be humble. To repent quickly, forgive freely, and walk gently with one another. True love is never careless. It is intentional about not wounding others. It seeks to restore, not to destroy; to build bridges, not walls. 📖 “You will know them by their fruits.” — Matthew 7:16 (NKJV) 📖 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV) 📖 “You shall love your neighbour as yourself.” — Matthew 22:39 (NKJV) This is especially true for the church and body of Christ. God commands His blessing where there is UNITY — when hearts are humble, love leads, and forgiveness flows freely. Where unity dwells, His presence and favour abide. Where unity dwells, His presence and favour abide. God will also hold the shepherds accountable when the sheep are scattered by their actions, for His heart is for unity, healing, and restoration among His people. May our hearts be so aligned with His that our intentions and our impact bear the same fruit — love, joy, peace, and healing. 💡 Reflection: Where in your life have you caused someone to walk away wounded by something you said or did?🤔 Are there relationships or communities where your words or actions have left division or broken trust?🤔 How can you invite God to reveal the intentions of your heart and align them with His love?🤔 What step of repentance or reconciliation might the Holy Spirit be inviting you to take today?🤔 What does the fruit of your life currently reveal about the condition of your heart?🤔

🎵 “I will not be afraid of ten thousand foes, though I’m surrounded on every side, for You alone are my Protector — in You my soul will hide.” 🎶 This morning’s wake-up song became a quiet declaration over my soul. Life will be hard sometimes, and the enemy will still try to take me out — yet God remains my Defender. His presence surrounds me like a shield, His peace anchors me when everything else trembles. Today, the heaviness that’s lingered for weeks has lifted. Someone recently said that funerals and memorials bring closure — they allow us to honour, to pay tribute, and to say our final goodbyes. I haven’t had that for any of my distant losses — those already lost to distance long before they were lost to death. Yet even without closure, I woke today with gratitude. A new dawn. New mercies. Life goes on, and I want to live mine as Mom did — loving people back to life. Unlike her, I wasn’t raised or trained in God’s ways, so I must be intentional not to fall back into my old patterns of withdrawal or disconnection. Healing is rarely a single moment; it’s a continual returning — to love, to hope, to the One who covers me with grace until the ache softens into peace. 📖 “He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler.” — Psalm 91:4 (NKJV) I rest in this promise today — that the One who began a good work in me will complete it. 📖 “Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.” — Philippians 1:6 (NKJV) 💗 Prayer: Father, thank You for being my Protector and my peace. Thank You for lifting the weight of sorrow and wrapping me once more in Your presence. Teach me to rest beneath Your covering when the world feels unsteady, and to keep loving others with the same grace that You’ve poured into me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Since Aunty Delice passed away, I found myself trying to bury the ache beneath work. Much like with my miscarriages, responses like "She’s in a better place" translated to "Swallow your tears, girl, be happy for her new life with Christ." and have therefore made me feel my feelings are not valid. This morning, at The Crate, I was burying a wave of grief beneath my work when Dean walked in. “Hello, bringer of joy,” he said warmly, wrapping me in a tight hug. “I’m sorry,” I whispered fighting back the tears, “my bringer of joy is broken at the moment.” He didn’t try to fix it. He just held me tighter and stayed a few moments longer. That simple act of presence, without a single word, reached places that condolences could not touch. In that embrace, I felt something holy — grace holding space for my tears. That silent hug did more for me than all the well-intentioned words since Aunty Delice passed away two weeks ago. Few people know how to simply sit beside sorrow—to hold space for holy tears and weep with those who weep and to recognise that presence itself can be prayer. 📖 “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” — Romans 12:15 (NKJV) Sometimes the deepest comfort is not found in eloquent words but in quiet compassion — in the stillness of a heart that chooses to stay. There’s a quiet ache that comes from living far away from those you love — an ache that deepens in moments of grief. It’s not only the loss that hurts, but the distance that keeps you from being near when hearts break, when candles are lit, and when laughter mingles with tears in remembrance. Sometimes, grief feels heavier because you can’t show up with flowers, can’t hold a trembling hand, or whisper comfort face to face. You learn to grieve through screens and prayers, to love across miles that cannot be crossed.Yet even in this distance, love does not fade. Love stretches, adapts, and finds ways to reach the heart — it travels in whispered prayers, in quiet remembrance, in the faithful knowing that connection is never truly severed. Love doesn’t need to be begged for; it simply shows up. It shows up in a warm coffee placed beside you, in a message that says, “I’m thinking of you,” in a hug that lingers longer than words allow. Tonight, as we joined the memorial live-stream to celebrate Mom’s life, I realised this is the first time since moving to New Zealand that I could be part of a farewell, even from afar. Though my heart still aches, I’m deeply grateful for the time and heritage that Mom shared — and for the love that continues to bridge the distance between earth and eternity. The hardest part of grieving across oceans is feeling like an outsider looking in. You watch sacred moments unfold through a screen — the tributes, the tears, the embraces — and your heart aches to reach through and hold someone close. You can’t offer comfort in person; you mourn alone, unseen yet deeply connected. 📖 “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.” — Psalm 34:18 (NKJV)

"Courage isn’t always loud; sometimes it's the woman who chooses stillness and listens. She listens to her body when it says rest, to her boundaries when they say enough, to the quiet truth inside that has been right all along… strength gathers—patient, grounded, unshakeable—the kind of thunder that does not need to shout to be believed." — Steve De’lano Garcia There is a kind of courage that doesn’t roar. It doesn’t arrive with fanfare or applause, nor does it need to prove itself through action. It moves quietly, like breath through the trees, or the steady rhythm of waves upon the shore. A few years ago, I heard the Lord whisper, “Courage and confidence will follow obedience.” Those words have never left me. True courage is not born in moments of adrenaline or public victory, but in the quiet “yes” to God when no one else sees. It grows with each step of obedience—each moment we trust His voice over our fear, His truth over our own understanding. Courage increases when we walk in alignment with what He’s asked of us, even when the path feels uncertain. It’s choosing stillness when the world demands hustle. It’s saying no to what drains your peace, and yes to what nourishes your soul. It’s unclenching your jaw, breathing all the way to the bottom of your lungs, and meeting fear with presence instead of panic. This courage is gentle yet resolute, quiet yet fierce. It is not the absence of fear but the decision to move with faith regardless of it. It is the strength that comes from abiding in the One who never leaves, who calls us not to perform but to rest in obedience. 📖 “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and confidence shall be your strength.” — Isaiah 30:15 (NKJV) May we be women who walk in this quiet kind of courage — whose confidence is not in the noise of achievement but in the steady heartbeat of obedience. For every small step taken with God builds a faith too deep to be shaken and a peace too profound to be stolen. 🙌Prayer: 🕊️ Holy Spirit, teach me to listen — to my body, to my boundaries, and most of all, to Your still, small voice. Let obedience become my courage, and peace my confidence. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

There’s a quiet ache that comes from living far away from those you love — an ache that deepens in moments of grief. It’s not only the loss of a loved one that hurts, but the distance that keeps you from being near when hearts break, when candles are lit, or when laughter echoes in remembrance. The hardest part of grieving across the distance via live streams is feeling like an outsider looking in. You watch sacred moments unfold through a screen — the tributes, the tears, the embraces — and your heart longs to reach through and hold someone close. You can’t afford comfort to the mourners, and you mourn alone. Sometimes, grief feels heavier because you can’t show up — can’t bring the flowers, hold the hand, or whisper comfort face to face. You miss milestones, funerals, gatherings where stories are shared, and tears are met with embraces. You learn to grieve through screens and prayers, to love across miles that cannot be crossed. Yet even in this distance, love does not diminish. Love stretches, adapts, and reaches in ways unseen. It travels in whispered prayers, in handwritten notes, in the quiet knowing that connection is never completely severed. 📖 “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.” — Psalm 34:18 (NKJV) Though oceans separate us, the same God who holds their tides also holds our hearts together. His presence bridges the miles, wrapping comfort around the spaces we cannot fill ourselves. So, when you feel the sting of absence, remember — love is not limited by geography or death. It lives on in memory, in faith, and in the eternal arms of God, where distance dissolves and reunion is promised. 🙌Prayer: Lord, comfort the ones who grieve from afar. Help us rest in the assurance that You are present where we cannot be, that Your love carries what our hands cannot hold, and that one day, all distance will fade in the light of Your glory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

When you truly matter to someone, time is not a wall — it’s a door they open for you, even with tired hands and crowded hours. Love doesn’t need to be begged for or chased down; it simply shows up. It shows up in the text that says, “I’m thinking of you,” in the coffee that’s still warm when life feels cold, in the listening that lingers longer than convenience allows. I used to mistake tolerance for love — the kind that endures you rather than delights in you. It leaves you walking on eggshells, apologising for needing space at the table. Yet love — true love — doesn’t just include you; it considers you. It bends calendars, shortens miles, and lays out small sacred moments like fresh bread with your name written across it. 📖 “Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honour giving preference to one another.” — Romans 12:9–10 (NKJV) There comes a point in the healing journey where you stop knocking on closed doors. You stop shrinking to fit someone else’s comfort zone and begin walking toward the places where your heart is welcomed, not weighed down. To go where you are loved, not tolerated, isn’t pride — it’s stewardship. It’s choosing to nurture the soil that bears good fruit and release what withers your peace. Presence is love’s purest proof. It doesn’t subcontract its heart to excuses or let its vows unravel in the rain. It keeps showing up — even in the storm — until truth becomes the light and faith becomes the bridge you can cross in the dark. 📖 “Love never fails.” — 1 Corinthians 13:8 (NKJV) Finding Home AgainNot feeling at home has been with me for as long as I can remember. “I’m a mistake” and “I shouldn’t be here” were the strongest foundational lies beneath my story. They built invisible walls around my heart long before I had the words to name them.Yet, throughout my life, a rare few have made me feel at home — people whose love carried no conditions, no performance, no pretense. Their kindness was a glimpse of heaven’s hospitality, a reminder that God never intended me to wander through life feeling like an afterthought. Recently, I realised that the very thing I never received growing up — time — the one I vowed never to need, is actually my love language. There’s never a moment I hesitate when someone I care about needs my time. It’s my way of saying, “You matter. You’re not an inconvenience.” Because I know what it feels like to be overlooked, I make time as an offering of love — a reflection of the Father’s heart that always has time for His children. 📖 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I sanctified you.” — Jeremiah 1:5 (NKJV) Those moments of being seen and welcomed were God’s gentle way of rewriting my foundation. Every embrace, every word of affirmation, every sacred space of belonging whispered: You were never a mistake. You were chosen. You belong.Now, I understand that home isn’t a place — it’s a Presence. It’s found in the quiet knowing that I am loved, wanted, and delighted in by the One who called me His own. I am learning, slowly and surely, to rest there. To stop searching for belonging in fragile places and dwell instead in the love that never moves away. 📖 “The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.” — Deuteronomy 33:27 (NKJV) 💡Prayer: Heavenly Father, Thank You for teaching me the difference between being accepted and being adored by Your kind of love — one that never grows weary, never withdraws its affection. Thank You for the rare few who carried Your heart and reminded me I belong. Help me to rest in the truth that You are my home, my refuge, my unshakable place of belonging.May I carry that same love to others — the kind that makes time, keeps promises, and holds space like home. Help me recognise where Your love flows freely and have the courage to walk toward it. May I give the same steadfast love to others — the kind that makes time, keeps promises, and holds space like home. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Most of us weren’t raised to live — we were raised to survive. We learned to silence our needs, to over-function when we were exhausted, and to call numbness “strength.” We weren’t taught how to rest without guilt, how to walk away from what harms, or how to say “no” and still believe we’re loved. Instead, we were taught to endure, to fix ourselves quietly, and to find our worth in how much we could carry. Yet Jesus came not so we could merely survive, but so we could live — fully, freely, and faithfully. 📖 “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” — John 10:10 (NKJV) Healing, then, becomes an unlearning — a holy undoing of the patterns that kept us safe but small. It’s learning that rest isn’t laziness, that boundaries are sacred, and that peace isn’t the absence of struggle but the presence of Christ within it. It’s the slow, sacred return from striving to simply being — being loved, being whole, being enough. You are not broken. You are a child of God relearning how to breathe again, how to receive grace instead of earning love, and how to walk in freedom instead of fear. Wholeness isn’t perfection; it’s alignment — your heart, mind, and soul resting in the One who makes all things new. 🕊️ Reflection: What survival habits have shaped your life — and which ones is God inviting you to release today?🤔 🕊️ Prayer: Lord Jesus, teach me to live abundantly, not anxiously. Heal the parts of me that confuse exhaustion with worth and busyness with belonging. Show me how to rest in Your love and walk in true freedom. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

This morning, I woke to the words: 🎼“Oh, I will not fear, I will not fear When the enemy comes near. Oh, on the doorframes of my life Is the blood of Jesus Christ…”🎵🎶 It was the perfect song to rise to — strong, defiant faith echoing through trembling heartbeats. Yet even under that melody, grief rolled in again, steady and deep like waves against the shore. Yesterday went gently enough. Two Encounter Groups filled the studio with prayer and presence. Someone told me, kindly, to stop feeling bad about the mistakes I made during A-School. Apparently, B-School had its fair share of glitches too. That reminder lifted a quiet weight — how often we hold ourselves to impossible standards when grace already covers us. We even trialled having people join via Google Meet, and it worked beautifully. It means we can open our doors wider — for those who live far away, those who long to be part of this journey but can’t always make the distance. Even technology, redeemed, can be a vessel of inclusion. Still, die trane lê weer vlak vandag — the tears sit close today. At The Crate, I busied my hands rolling towels, showing up for the non-negotiable stand-up. But as I worked, heaviness crept back in. The ache wanted solitude; it whispered, “Go home, cry it out.” Yet I had promised Rachel and Dave I’d come to Life Group. Sometimes obedience to community is the very thing that keeps you from collapsing inward. I almost turned the car around — afraid that one look, one kind word, would break the dam. And still, Rachel came. She sought me out mid-conversation with Phil and wrapped me in a hug. For the first time that day, I whispered, “Thank you… I needed that.” During worship, something loosened. Tears didn’t come, but peace did. And by the time lunch rolled around, the heaviness had lifted — not vanished, but softened. Grace lingered long enough for me to stay. 📖 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.” — Isaiah 43:2 (NKJV) Sometimes God doesn’t still the waves — He steadies the swimmer. His blood on the doorframes of my life still speaks: “You are covered. You are safe. You are Mine.” 💡Reflection: What small act of love or obedience helped you stay grounded when grief or fear tried to isolate you?🤔 🙌🏻Prayer: Lord Jesus, thank You that Your blood still speaks a better word over my life — protection, redemption, peace. Teach me to trust Your covering even when the waters rise. Let me feel Your nearness in the quiet moments, and help me to see grace in the faces that seek me out when I would rather hide. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

There is a tenderness that lives in stillness, a kind of love that does not rush to fix, explain, or perform. It is the love that simply stays. When someone is walking through a storm, our words may scatter like leaves in the wind, yet our quiet nearness can become a refuge stronger than walls. 📖 “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” — Romans 12:15 (NKJV) "When someone is walking through a storm, let your silent presence be a shelter the wind cannot breach - a steady nearness that says I am here without making their pain perform. Sit beside them the way mountains keep watch over valleys: unwavering, unhurried, unafraid of thunder. Offer ordinary kindness--boil water, hold the umbrella, place a blanket, keep time with their breath- and let the hush between you speak the oldest language of care. Do not rename their clouds or argue with the rain; become warmth, witness and ground. In such gentleness, grief loosens its grip, fear remembers it can exhale, and the heart relearns that it can be both broken and beloved while the sky works out its weather. Your presence, unpolished, consistent, sincere, becomes the anchor under their waves, the small light that makes darkness navigable. And when the storm passes, they will not recall perfect advice; they will remember that you stayed, that your quiet never flinched, and that, without a million empty words, you helped their spirit trust the light again." - Steve De'lano Garcia Don't ever underestimate the gift of the ministry of presense. There is a tenderness that lives in stillness, a kind of love that does not rush to fix, explain, or perform. It is the love that simply stays. When someone is walking through a storm, our words may scatter like leaves in the wind, yet our quiet nearness can become a refuge stronger than walls. 📖 “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” — Romans 12:15 (NKJV) Lately, I have been reminded of how uneasy we are with tears. When grief visits, even the kindest hearts often reach for quick comfort — “She’s in a better place,” “She’s with the Lord now.” Though spoken with good intentions, these words can sometimes brush too lightly over a heart that longs to have its ache acknowledged. They can make us feel guilty for needing to cry and be comforted. Few know how to simply sit in silence beside sorrow, to hold space for holy tears. Grief comes in waves and hospice will tell you it takes as long as it takes. You can’t speed it up or reason it away. Tears and silence make people uncomfortable. Yet Jesus never avoided them. When Jesus stood beside Mary and Martha at Lazarus’ tomb, He did not immediately offer a sermon. He wept. His tears were not weakness; they were divine compassion, the presence of God sharing human grief. That is the heart of true ministry: not to rush someone out of their valley but to sit with them until they remember the Shepherd is still near. The Son of God did not silence their grief with theology; He sanctified it with His presence. That moment still teaches us the sacred art of simply being the ministry of presence. When words fall short, love can still stay Sometimes, all that is required of us is to sit silently with the wounded — to be there, to share Christ’s love and comfort without needing to speak. The ministry of presence is not about perfect words; it is about faithful nearness. It is what happens when we offer warmth, witness, and ground, becoming an anchor under another’s waves. 💡Reflection: Who around you may need the gift of your quiet nearness rather than your answers? 🤔 Can you let your heart be a shelter for another’s tears? 🤔 🎺 Affirmation: My silence can carry Christ’s comfort; my presence can become His embrace. 🙌Prayer: Lord, teach me to bring comfort without rushing to conclusions. Help me to honour another’s pain the way You honoured ours with presence, not performance. Lord, teach me to carry Your peace into other people’s pain. Let my silence be filled with Your presence, my patience with Your compassion and my stillness speak of Your steadfast love. May I become a quiet anchor in someone’s storm, reflecting Your steadfast love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

For most of my life, I carried an invisible label: “mistake.” It wasn’t written in ink, but etched deep into my heart. Every failure, rejection, or silence seemed to underline it. I learned to overperform, overgive, and overthink — hoping that if I did enough, maybe I’d finally be enough.  Yet, somewhere in the quiet places where only God could reach, His love began to rewrite the script. He didn’t fix me by force; He healed me with truth. Slowly, tenderly, He began to whisper: “You were never a mistake. You were My idea.” 📖 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I sanctified you.” — Jeremiah 1:5 (NKJV) There are days when the weight of “not enough” still presses hard — when comparison steals colour and my worth feels blurred at the edges. Yet in those moments, God’s voice comes through the people He’s placed in my life: You are already enough. There are days when the shadows of self-doubt creep in, whispering that you’re not enough, that your worth is somehow diminished. In those moments, pause. Breathe. Remind yourself of the truth that stands like an anchor: you are deeply loved, valued, and seen — not only by the people in your life who cherish you, but by the One who created you. When you feel unseen, know that there are those who see the goodness in you even when you struggle to see it in yourself. They love you, flaws and all. They treasure your kindness, your strength and your ability to bring light to others’ days. They see it, and they hold it dear. You do not have to perform, to strive, or to reach perfection to be worthy of this love. There are hearts that see the goodness in me even when I can’t. They see the quiet strength in perseverance, the warmth carried into every room, and the beauty in loving without fanfare. They see me, just as God does — fully known, fully loved. 📖 “I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.” — Jeremiah 31:3 (NKJV) On the days when your heart feels heavy, or when uncertainty clouds your view, whisper this truth back to yourself: I am loved. I am valued. I am enough. God Himself says so, and the people He has placed in your life echo that truth. Keep going, beloved soul. You matter far more than you know. The Lord delights in you, and His grace is sufficient even on your weakest days. Rest in His unfailing love and the quiet assurance that you’re already enough in His eyes. I don’t need to strive for perfection to be worthy of love. The One who formed me already delights in me. His truth silences every lie that says I must earn what was freely given. 🙌Prayer: Lord, thank You for rewriting the lies that once defined me. Teach me to see myself through Your eyes — chosen, cherished, and enough. When shame tries to speak louder, quiet it with Your truth, Lord, help me rest in the assurance that I am loved beyond measure. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Grief still comes in waves, but not so many tears anymore. I managed to finish Aunty Delice’s tribute video on Friday. Roland had offered to help, but when he saw what I’d created, he said it couldn’t have been done better. It felt more personal because my paintings formed the background — my heart woven through every frame. The overlay of tribute images during the moments I had to compose myself made it all the more authentic. It carried her essence and mine, woven together through brushstrokes and love. That felt like a quiet affirmation from heaven — a nudge that love’s labour, though tender, was enough. I’ve sent it off to Julaine for Friday’s memorial and shared all my photos with Uncle Rodney — a small act of honour that feels like closure. I served at the Restoring Families Seminar at Victory Convention Centre on Friday evening and all of Saturday. I got there early yesterday morning. “You’re the dancer!” the caterer said when she recognised me. “You should have flags — that creates the atmosphere,” she added. “Usually I do,” I replied, “but not all churches welcome them, so I left them in the car.” “We have some for the youth — I’ll get you some,” she said, and off she went, bringing a whole container full for me to use during worship. In that moment, I felt seen, validated in a way that reached deep into old fears of being “too much” or “out of place.” Worship flowed freely, unafraid. There was no guilt in the movement, only gratitude for the One who sets hearts and bodies free to dance before Him. 📖 “Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.” — 2 Corinthians 3:17 (NKJV) I loved how the team presented the seminar — not through videos, but through their stories. Honest, redemptive, and real. It was lovely to hear more of their stories — who they are and what they’ve overcome. Their vulnerability made the message feel alive. Each testimony became a thread of healing that wove the message deeper into our hearts. We ended with a joyful team dinner at Grand Harbour Chinese Restaurant, laughter mingling with tired smiles. By the time I got home around 6:45 p.m., my body was weary but my spirit full. I went to bed by 10:30 p.m. At 1.26 a.m. a sharp cramp in my left calf jolted me awake — a strange, painful echo of the tension my body still holds. I rolled around for a while before finally hanging my leg off the side of the bed to ease the pain, praying, and eventually drifting back to sleep. This morning, another weird dream — fragments now lost to the wind. Still, I woke with a sense that the Holy Spirit stirring something new. Today, Clive and I visit Shiloh in our quest to get to know the churches around us. I sense the Lord repositioning us for what’s ahead, gently guiding us toward the next chapter — launching the Nexus Connect Learning & Community Hub in a neutral venue. The vision has never been tied to just one church. Our aim is to reach those who are in the gutters — the ones who won’t step into a church building because they’ve been so wounded by it. We want to create a safe space where people are loved back to life, healed through community and creativity, and then sent into surrounding churches to flourish again. It feels like He’s aligning pieces we can’t yet see, drawing us out of familiar patterns into something new. 📖 “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way.” — Psalm 37:23 (NKJV) 💡Reflection: Where do you feel the Lord gently repositioning you in this season?🤔 What small moments of validation has He used to remind you that you are seen and free to worship as He created you to?🤔 How might grief be softening you, not breaking you, as He prepares you for what’s next?🤔 Prayer: Lord Jesus, thank You for meeting me in the in-between — between grief and grace, rest and readiness. Thank You for gentle reminders that You see me, You validate the gifts You’ve placed within me, and You are guiding our steps toward new ground. Let Your presence go before us as we seek where to plant, build, and serve. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Last night I had another strange dream. I don’t remember all the details, but one part stood out so vividly. I stumbled down a hill and found myself struggling to get back up. Suddenly, I heard a noise behind me. When I looked back, I saw a huge monster truck coming down the road, with crowds of raging people at its sides. The road curved sharply at the bottom, making the truck’s descent feel even more threatening. Fear gripped me as I tried to get back on my feet to move out of the way. I ended up walking on my knees as fast as I could, desperate to find a safe place where I could rise again. Just as I turned the corner at the bottom, I woke up. As I sit with this dream, I sense its weight. Hills so often remind me of struggles or tests — those seasons when the climb feels impossible and my footing slips. The monster truck felt overwhelming, unstoppable, like the pressures and voices that sometimes barrel toward me in life. Yet even on my knees, I was still moving. I was still reaching for safety. I realise that the dream echoes something deeper: when life presses me down, my first posture is kneeling — a posture of humility, of prayer, of surrender. It’s not weakness; it’s strength. It’s the place where I find God’s refuge. 📖 "When I am afraid, I will trust in You." — Psalm 56:3 (NKJV) I love how even my subconscious seems to know: the safest place is with Him. My safe clearing at the bottom of the hill glowed with light. That is where I run into His presence. 💡Reflection: Where in my life right now do I feel like I’m stumbling down a hill?🤔 What “monster trucks” are pressing in, threatening to overwhelm me?🤔 What does my safe space with God look like in this season?🤔 How might my knees — in humility and prayer — actually be the ground where my strength is renewed?🤔 Today, I hold onto the truth that I am never safer than when I kneel in trust before Him. Even when fear looms behind me, His light goes before me. I am seen, carried, and sheltered in His love. 🙌Prayer: Lord, when pressures close in like unstoppable forces, remind me that even on my knees I can keep moving toward You. Teach me to see humility and surrender not as defeat, but as the doorway into safety and strength. Lead me into Your refuge and help me rise again in Your light. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

As my memorial scrapbook album has steadily grown over the years, I have found myself adding yet another page, another name, another story. Each addition carries weight, but the hardest ones to grieve are those I lost while they were still alive. Relationships that unravelled, hearts that grew distant, people who became unreachable long before death ever arrived. In many ways, death was only the second, more final goodbye. This is a grief not often spoken of: mourning the presence that remained physically but was gone in every other way. It is the sorrow of what could have been, compounded when death seals the unfinished chapters. These are the double griefs — losses that echo twice through the soul. 📖 “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.” — Psalm 34:18 (NKJV) Yet even here, I sense God’s nearness. He is not afraid of the complicated tears. He gathers both the grief of absence and the grief of unfinished stories into His hands. My scrapbook becomes more than a record of loss; it becomes a testimony of love, of presence once shared, and of His healing touch over my heart. Where grief lingers, His grace lingers longer. 💡Reflection: Which “living losses” still tug at my heart, and how can I bring them into God’s healing light?🤔 How might I use my scrapbook not only to remember, but to release each name into His care?🤔 If you are grieving today, whether the loss of presence through death or through life’s unravelling, know that your sorrow is seen. God does not dismiss the ache of double goodbyes. He draws close, holding both your memories and your heart in His everlasting arms. 🙌🏻Prayer: Father, You see the layers of my grief — the spoken goodbyes and the silent ones. Heal the places in me where I still mourn what was lost before life ended. Help me entrust each story to You, knowing that Your love is greater than death, distance, or brokenness. Thank You for being near to the broken-hearted and for weaving redemption even through my tears. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

There are photographs tucked into albums and frames that I now realise are the last with certain loved ones. At the time, they seemed so ordinary — a family gathering, a shared laugh, a quiet moment around a table. Yet now they hold a sacred weight, whispering, "This was the last time." Time with loved ones is precious. We cannot always know which smile, which touch, or which conversation will be the last. The ordinary becomes extraordinary in hindsight, and the photos capture more than faces; they capture presence, love, and belonging. 📖 "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." — Psalm 90:12 (NKJV)  My heart aches with both gratitude and longing as I turn these pages. Gratitude that God gave me the gift of these people, these moments, these memories. Longing, because I wish I had savoured them even more while they were unfolding.  Yet, even here, grace flows. These photos remind me not of what I have lost, but of the love that was given. They are reminders of God’s faithfulness in surrounding me with relationships that reflect His heart. They are treasures of memory, echoes of eternity. 💡Reflection: Who in my life do I need to be more intentional about savouring time with?🤔 How can I live so that love, laughter, and faith become the legacy captured in my “ordinary” days?🤔 If you are holding a “last photo” today, may you also hold the comfort of knowing that love is never wasted. Each captured smile is a testimony of God’s goodness and a call to savour the sacred ordinary of today. 🙌Prayer: Lord, teach me to number my days rightly. Help me to pause in the busyness and savour the people You have placed around me. May I not wait until a photo becomes the “last” to treasure a moment. Let my presence, my love, and my words be a blessing to those I hold dear. Thank You for the gift of memory, of photographs, and of the love that outlives time. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

There is such a difference between being included and being considered. Inclusion says, “You can come.” Consideration says, “We thought of you when making the plan.” One checks a box; the other checks the heart. For much of my life, I have felt overlooked — sometimes not even included. That ache runs deep, because being left out speaks to the child within who longs to be seen, valued, and chosen. Yet even when I was included, it often felt like there was still a gap — the absence of true care, of being remembered in the details. Reading Anthony D Brice’s words struck me like a gentle light: to be considered is to be thought of with intention, with love. It means someone has already set a place at the table, already woven me into their plans, already seen my value without me needing to prove it. 📖 "Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others." — Philippians 2:4 (NKJV) This Scripture reveals the heart of Jesus — He didn’t just include us; He considered us. Long before we asked, He planned redemption. Long before we felt the ache of loneliness, He promised His presence. To be considered is to be loved with foresight. 💡Reflection: Where in my life do I feel merely “included,” and where do I feel truly “considered”? 🤔 How is God inviting me to lean more deeply into places where I am seen, valued, and cherished?🤔 🌸 Closing thought: I no longer need to chase inclusion. I will sit only where I am seen, go only where I am valued, and remain only where I am considered. 🙌 Prayer: Lord Jesus, thank You that You have always considered me. You saw me before I was formed, You planned my days before I lived them, and You set a place for me at Your table. Heal the wounds of being overlooked and teach me to rest in the truth that I am chosen, valued, and remembered. Help me also to extend this same intentional love to others, not just including them, but truly considering them. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

There are words that stop you in your tracks because they name what your heart has long carried in silence. Steve De’lano Garcia’s words did that for me today.  "There is a rare breed of people who bet their whole heart and never ask for odds: they keep their word even when it hurts, they step into storms for the sake of someone else's sunshine, they give the last of their warmth to hands that may never hold them back; they walk the extra mile on blistered feet and still ask if you need a ride; they pour love into empty rooms and tuck hope into beds that have never learned their name, and when the echo does not answer, they do not grow smaller -they grow steadier; they stay kind in a world that profits from hard edges, they stay soft in a season that praises stone, and they pay a quiet price for it, again and again, with tears wiped in the dark and smiles set straight at dawn; yet even through the ache, they keep a small light for the day another rare heart appears- equally brave, equally loyal, equally willing to meet them in the deep; to the givers, the forgivers, the selfless lovers: keep being beautiful, guard your tenderness without burying it, let the cold world be cold and choose to be warm, take every small moment like a breath you mean to keep, and know this--your love is not wasted; it is a seed, and one day it will fall into hands that know how to grow it." It speaks of a rare breed of people who give their whole heart without asking for odds, who love when it hurts, who stay soft when the world demands stone. Reading it brought tears, because it resonated so deeply with my own journey. I have known what it feels like to pour warmth into empty rooms, to sow kindness into places where my name may never be remembered. I have known the ache of wiping tears in the dark and smiling at dawn, carrying the quiet price of love that costs without return. Yet in those very moments, I have also known the steadying hand of Jesus, the One who sees what others may never notice. 📖 "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." — Galatians 6:9 (NKJV) This verse reminds me that nothing given in love is ever wasted. Love is never lost; it is a seed. The soil may seem barren now, but God Himself is faithful to water and bring fruit in His time. Our tenderness, our loyalty, our willingness to keep loving in the face of rejection or silence — all of it matters to Him. 💡 Reflection: Where have you been sowing love that feels unseen? How might God be inviting you to trust Him with the unseen fruit? 🙏 Prayer: Lord, thank You for reminding me that love is never wasted. When the ache feels heavy and the cost of tenderness feels too much, steady my heart in You. Help me to guard my tenderness without burying it, to remain kind in a world that grows cold, and to trust that You are bringing a harvest in Your perfect time. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Lies may cover for a season, but they never remain hidden forever. Every mask worn, every betrayal carried out, every manipulation crafted leaves a mark, not just on the people wounded, but upon the soul of the one who weaves them. For a moment, deception might feel like safety, power, or advantage. Yet God sees, and nothing escapes His gaze. Shadows grow heavy, and the bridges burned today often spark the fires that will one day expose falsehood. You may deny, twist, or charm your way through stories, yet you cannot outrun truth. When it comes, it does not simply remove the mask — it reveals the wreckage left behind. So hide, if you must. Pretend, if you choose. But know this: no lie lives forever, and no cruelty goes unpaid. God is not mocked, and His timing is never late. Justice waits, patient yet certain. 📖 "For there is nothing hidden which will not be revealed, nor has anything been kept secret but that it should come to light." — Mark 4:22 (NKJV) 💡Reflection: Are there places in your life where truth is waiting to be spoken, yet fear has kept it silent?🤔 What would it look like to invite God’s light into that place today?🤔 '🙌🏻Prayer: Lord, thank You that You are truth and that You see all things clearly. Where I am tempted to hide or cover up, give me the courage to bring it into the light. Where I have been hurt by deception, bring healing and restore trust in Your goodness. Let my life be anchored in integrity, built not on shifting lies but on Your unshakable Word. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Obedience isn’t always radiant and full of rejoicing. Often, it comes cloaked in tears. It feels like death to our will, a burial of our pride, and a surrender of the comforts we cling to. It may look like leaving when your heart longs to stay, keeping silent when every fibre of your being burns to speak, or loosening your grasp on something you love deeply — not because you no longer care, but because God is asking you to trust Him for what lies beyond. Every act of obedience carries its own grief. Abraham’s heart surely ached as he lifted the knife over Isaac (Genesis 22). Moses gave up the splendour of Pharaoh’s palace to walk with a complaining people in a barren desert (Exodus 3–4). And Jesus, in Gethsemane, with sweat like drops of blood falling to the ground, still whispered: 📖 “Not My will, but Yours be done.” — Luke 22:42 (NKJV) Obedience can feel like loss. Yet each surrender opens the door to God’s glory. Each relinquishing becomes the soil where new life rises. What feels like ashes in your hands can become the canvas where God writes His beauty across tear-stained skies. Jesus reminds us: 📖 “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.” — Luke 11:28 (NKJV) So if your obedience feels like grief today, take heart. God is not taking something from you — He is leading you to something greater. Obedience may hurt, but it also heals. It may cost, but it also crowns. One of my biggest areas of struggle with obedience is the call to prayer in the early hours of the morning. It’s as though the Holy Spirit gently stirs my heart while the world still sleeps, inviting me into the quiet, sacred space where heaven whispers. Yet my body resists, longing for the comfort of blankets and the stillness of rest. There’s a grief in that tug of war — between spirit and flesh, longing and lethargy. The call to rise feels heavy, and yet, every time I choose to answer, I’m met with a Presence so tender, it’s as if dawn itself bows in reverence. In those early hours, before the noise of the day intrudes, His voice is clearest. It’s not about performance or perfection; it’s about communion — the deep heart exchange that can only happen in stillness. 📖 “O God, You are my God; early will I seek You; my soul thirsts for You; my flesh longs for You in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water.” — Psalm 63:1 (NKJV) Obedience in these moments feels like dying to comfort so that I might awaken to glory. It is costly, but it carries the fragrance of love — a quiet yes whispered in the dark, trusting that what He has to say is worth the sacrifice of sleep. Let’s face it, who wants to be up between 3 and 5 a.m. when everyone else is sleeping — especially in winter, when it’s so much warmer and cosier under the covers? Yet even in that reluctance, there’s an invitation. However, when I rise, weary but willing, I find strength not my own. His presence wraps around me like dawn light, and the grief of obedience becomes the grace of encounter. 💡 Reflection:  What area of obedience feels most costly to you right now? How might God be inviting you to trust that His presence will meet you there? 🙌🏻 Prayer: Lord, teach me to embrace the hidden beauty of obedience, even when it feels like loss. When You call in the quiet hours, help me to respond with love, not reluctance. Let every sacrifice of sleep become a seed of intimacy, and every act of surrender a song of trust. May my heart rise to meet Yours in the stillness. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

The enemy knows that if he can trap us in our emotions, he can blur our vision and derail our obedience. Offence, fear, and insecurity are his subtle tools to cloud our sight. He whispers lies, magnifies hurts, and stirs up comparisons, all so we would walk in circles instead of stepping forward into the calling God has set before us. Emotions themselves are not wrong. God created us with feelings — they are like colours on the palette of the soul. They allow us to experience joy, sorrow, compassion, grief, and delight. Yet, when feelings take the lead, they can become stormy waves that toss us to and fro. Cloudy emotions, if left unchecked, delay obedience and dim the clarity of God’s direction. 📖 "For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God." — Romans 8:14 (NKJV) We were never called to be driven by feelings. We are called to be led by the Holy Spirit. To live Spirit-led means acknowledging our emotions, but not bowing to them as masters. It means learning to express them righteously, anger without sin, grief with hope, joy with humility, love with purity. When surrendered to God, even our deepest emotions can become vessels of grace. Tears become intercession. Anger becomes fuel for justice. Fear becomes an invitation to trust. Joy becomes strength.   💡Reflection: Where have I allowed feelings to cloud my obedience to God’s voice?🤔 How can I acknowledge my emotions honestly while inviting the Holy Spirit to lead me?🤔 What practical step can I take today to move from being led by feelings to being led by the Spirit?🤔 🙌🏻Prayer: Holy Spirit, thank You for the gift of emotions. Teach me to express them in ways that honour You. Guard my heart from being ruled by offence, fear, or insecurity. Lead me in truth, clarity, and love. Please help me to walk by faith, not by sight, and by Spirit, not by feelings. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.