Today I felt Holy Spirit drawing me to hold up certain areas of my life against the light of truth. There are times when my heart, though filled with love, slips into carrying loads that were never mine to bear. This has often looked like stepping into roles out of fear of letting others down rather than out of obedience to God. Serving From Pressure I recognise that sometimes I volunteer at Elijah House schools not because I am specifically called in that moment, but because I see the shortage of hands and feel the quiet pressure of, "If I don’t, who will?" While my love for the ministry is genuine, I see how false responsibility can blur the line between Spirit-led service and people-pleasing exhaustion. 📖 "Each one should carry their own load." — Galatians 6:5 (NIV) Saying Yes Too Often — Boundaries and Love In the same setting, I also notice my difficulty in saying no. My compassion makes me want to fill the gaps, but sometimes my "yes" costs me rest, peace, or time that was meant for another assignment from the Lord. This is not the overflow of grace, but the burden of false responsibility. The Weight of False Guilt Then there is the ache with Elias. When his attitude shifted so suddenly last September, I found myself questioning: Did I do something wrong? Yet there has been no clear word from him, nor a conviction from Holy Spirit. This is where false guilt creeps in, convincing me to wear chains that Jesus never placed on me. 📖 "If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men." — Romans 12:18 (NKJV) The truth is, I can only walk in integrity, love, and humility. Beyond that, the other person’s response rests with them and with God. I am not required to take responsibility for someone else’s silence or distance. My Core Values as Anchors Looking again at my own values reminds me of what God has placed within me: Faith and Spirituality as my highest priority. Love expressed through compassion and service. Integrity, courage, and creativity as gifts to share. Growth, balance, and rest as necessary companions. Measuring success not by ambition but by impact and healing. These anchors steady me when false guilt whispers or when false responsibility pulls too heavily on my heart. A Gentle Framework for Discernment To guard my heart, I now carry a simple discernment practice: Pause & Pray — “Holy Spirit, is this mine to carry?” Assignment Check — Has God clearly asked me to do this? Ownership Check — Am I taking responsibility for another’s choices or feelings? Motivation Check — Is my yes from love, or from fear and approval-seeking? Fruit Check — Does this bring peace or drain it? If the answer is no, then I must release what is not mine to carry, and replace it with His peace. 🙌Prayer of Release Lord, I release what is not mine to hold. Forgive me for carrying false guilt or stepping into roles You never assigned. Teach me to discern quickly, to say yes with joy, and no with peace. May my service flow from Your leading, not from pressure or fear. Help me trust You with the gaps I cannot fill. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

There’s a subtle ache that comes when you realise not everyone in your circle is actually in your corner. Some people are experts at the public clap yet carry a private competitiveness that chips away at peace. They smile with you but quietly hope for your stumble, just enough to feel ahead. This energy is sly, hiding in plain sight until you feel the absence of safety in their presence.   Pay attention to the fruit of their actions, not just the noise of their words. Notice who checks in when you are quiet, who speaks well of you when you’re not there, and who stands beside you when you have nothing left to give. Loyalty is rarely loud. Real love shows up in ways that presence alone cannot prove.   📖 "A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity." — Proverbs 17:17 (NKJV)   Prayer: Lord, give me discernment to recognise the difference between those who only appear close and those who are truly for me. Help me guard my heart without becoming hard, and surround me with people who carry Your love in both word and deed. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.   You are worthy of friends who protect your peace, guard your heart, and celebrate your wins without envy. Choose wisely, and keep walking with those whose presence feels like safety.

Life humbles us all. One day you’re standing tall, certain of your steps, and the next, the ground beneath you shifts without warning. Success can be fleeting, failure inevitable, but courage — the choice to rise again — builds something in you that cannot be taken away. It’s not the number of victories or the absence of mistakes that shapes us. It’s the willingness to keep showing up, even when the path feels foggy, when the room is silent, when no one notices. Growth often happens in that in-between space, where you’ve fallen but not yet risen, and you decide — by faith — to move forward anyway. 📖 "Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." — Galatians 6:9 (NKJV) I have learnt that the ones who see God’s promises fulfilled are rarely those with the easiest journey. They are the ones who kept going, quietly, prayerfully, even when it felt like the cost outweighed the gain. Their eyes were fixed not on the applause of people but on the steady gaze of the One who never leaves. 🙌Prayer Lord, when my heart feels tired and the way ahead uncertain, strengthen me to keep moving forward in Your will. Teach me to trust that even in the silence, You are shaping my character and preparing my harvest. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.  Affirmation I will keep going, not because the journey is easy, but because God is faithful.

A steak can be $7 from a butcher, $10 at a supermarket, $25 at a diner, and $150 at a high-end restaurant. Same steak. The only thing that changed was the location. Sometimes, we feel “cheap” because we’ve been in rooms where our gifts weren’t recognised, our hearts weren’t cherished, or our voice wasn’t valued. That doesn’t mean we’ve lost value; it may simply mean we’ve been in the wrong place to be seen for who we truly are. 📖 "For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s." — 1 Corinthians 6:20 (NKJV) You were bought at the highest price imaginable — the blood of Jesus. No market, no environment, no opinion can lower that worth. If you’re feeling overlooked, perhaps it’s time to ask the Lord where He wants to place you — somewhere your God-given value will be honoured, your presence will be life-giving, and your calling will flourish.

There is a way of listening that goes beyond the ears. It is the hearing of the heart. Yet when the heart is tender from past wounds, every word can arrive wearing a disguise — sounding sharper than it was meant, or weighted with meanings the speaker never intended. Unhealed hurts act like a filter, tinting what we hear with the colours of rejection, betrayal, or fear. We think we are hearing them, but we are really hearing our pain.   Healing re-tunes the ear of the soul. It allows us to separate what is being said now from what was spoken then. As Jesus restores the broken places, He silences the accusations of the past so that present truth can be received in peace. 📖 "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." — Psalm 147:3 (NKJV) 📖 "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me." — John 10:27 (NKJV)  When we let Him heal our hearts, our listening changes. Conversations become clearer. Misunderstandings shrink. Our responses grow gentler. We stop defending old battles and start discerning present truth.   💡 Reflection: When have I misunderstood someone because I was hearing through the filter of my wounds? 🤔 What might Jesus want to heal in me so that I can hear more clearly? 🤔 How do I respond differently when I feel safe and loved? 🤔

There comes a moment when God whispers, “It’s time to move forward,” and you realise that saying yes to the life He has for you will cost you the one you’ve been clinging to. It will cost you your comfort zone — the familiar patterns that once felt safe but now feel too small. It will cost you your sense of direction — because faith often asks you to step before you see. It will cost you relationships and friendships — some will drift, some will break, and some will reveal they were never truly aligned with where God is leading you. It will cost you being liked, even being understood — because not everyone will celebrate the transformation taking place in you. 📖 "For we walk by faith, not by sight." — 2 Corinthians 5:7 (NKJV) Yet, in losing these things, you will discover what was never meant to stay. You will find the ones who truly see you — not just the version of you that fit their comfort, but the person God has been patiently calling forth. You will trade being liked for being loved. You will trade being understood for being known. You will step away from what was built for who you no longer are, and into the space where His grace fits you perfectly. Let it go. Not as an act of loss, but as an act of faith. Because the other side holds the people, places, and purpose you were made for all along. Lord, give me the courage to release what no longer carries Your breath, so I can walk freely into what You have prepared for me. Help me trust that what is meant for me will meet me on the other side of obedience. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. You are not losing — you are making room.

Today I saw him again. There was no urge to run — a minor miracle in itself — but what tested me most was sitting still as he spoke about the importance of building relationships in teams and all those wonderful leadership nuggets I hadn't experienced while being ignored. Everything inside me wanted to scream, "You didn't do that for us." My heart wanted to lay bare the truth, to pull back the curtain and reveal the gap between his words and his actions. Instead, I stayed composed, letting the Holy Spirit hold my tongue. The last six months of being ignored, dismissed, and made to feel like a discarded Christmas present — wanted for a moment, appreciated while I was useful, then set aside without thought or care — destroyed all the safety and trust I felt in the months before. Hearing him talk stirred the memory of that rejection, the dismissal without goodbye, the silence that still echoes. Sometimes it's not the things we do but the things we don't that cause the most pain to those who have experienced the trauma of neglect. And yet, I’m learning that strength isn’t always speaking my mind; sometimes it’s choosing not to pour my heart into soil that cannot receive it. God sees the truth without me having to defend it. He has already measured my worth, and it was never in the keeping of one man’s opinion. 📖 "Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips." — Psalm 141:3 (NKJV) 📖 "The Lord is my vindicator; therefore I will wait for Him." — Isaiah 54:17 (paraphrased) 🙌Prayer: Lord, You know the weight of unspoken truth. Thank You for giving me the grace to hold steady when my heart wanted to speak out of pain. Teach me to trust that You will vindicate in Your time. Let my silence be strength, not suppression, and keep my heart tender even in the presence of those who have hurt me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. 💡Reflection: When have I chosen silence in order to protect my peace, and how did God meet me in that moment? 🤔 Sometimes victory is not in having the last word, but in keeping your peace when everything in you wants to defend yourself. The One who truly knows will always have the final say.

Last night, Clive came home from The Gathering. I had planned to join him to go for drinks beforehand, but the coughing fits from this stubborn phlegm kept me home. When he returned a few hours later, he shared something that caught me off guard. Apparently, Elias had mentioned receiving 500 systems from Business Blueprint and how, when checking into 1Brain, he noticed the amount of work I’d done. He told Clive I’d done a great job. The words were kind, but they came from the wrong mouth at the wrong time. Four months ago, Elias ended my contract in favour of a virtual assistant and when my last day arrived there was no formal goodbye, no recognition nor send-off. The silence then spoke louder than any affirmation could now. That dismissal had pierced deeply, fuelling the prayer ministry session last month when I realised rejection, abandonment and self-sabotage were woven into the fabric of this wound. Hearing praise second-hand only stirred the ache of being unseen in the moment it mattered most. What’s especially painful is that the affirmation came in a way that didn’t allow me to receive it directly, from the person who should have acknowledged my value when it mattered most. When we’ve been wounded before, it’s not just the event itself that hurts — it’s the echoes that follow, each one whispering the same old lie of “not enough” & "replacable". Even when truth slips in (“you did a great job”) the delivery can sting when it's too little, too late, or if it bypasses the heart that needed to hear it. This is one of those moments where I imagine the Holy Spirit standing close, not to erase the pain with platitudes, but to steady my breathing so the dagger doesn’t define me. Because the truth is: my worth isn’t wrapped up in contracts, titles, or someone else’s ability to see me. I'm not defined by who notices me, when they notice, or how they tell me so. It is held in the unshakable hands of the One who never overlooks me. He saw every detail I poured into that work and calls me faithful. 📖 "Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands." — Isaiah 49:16 (NKJV) 📖 "The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever." — Psalm 138:8 (NKJV) Prayer: Lord, You know how much I longed to hear those words directly. I release the sting of hearing them second-hand and the ache of being overlooked. Thank You for seeing my labour and loving me beyond my performance. Anchor my worth in You alone. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.💡 Reflection: When have I received affirmation too late, and how can I let God’s truth speak louder than the delay? 🤔 Even late praise can be reframed into a testimony when placed in God’s hands. In the Kingdom, nothing is wasted — not the work, not the waiting, and not the words that came sideways.

There’s a shadow that has followed me all my life — rejection.   It doesn’t knock politely. It lurks over my shoulder, waiting for an unguarded moment to whisper lies into my soul. Sometimes it strikes with the blunt force of a slammed door. Other times, it slides in subtly, convincing me that maybe I’m too much, too loud, too different. I have learned this: rejection is not a verdict. It is a valley. Every great leader — every prophet, every reformer, every soul who dared to obey God’s call — has walked through this valley before stepping into the fullness of their assignment. Moses was rejected by his own people before leading them out of Egypt. David was left out of the lineup before being crowned king. Even Jesus was “despised and rejected by men” before becoming the cornerstone of our salvation. Rejection will try to rewrite your name, to make you question your worth and muzzle your voice. It will tempt you to shrink back so you don’t risk the ache again. Yet God’s call has never depended on the vote of the crowd. You were not called to be popular. You were sent to lead. The valley of rejection can become a refining fire — burning away the need for approval, clarifying your purpose, and deepening your dependence on the One who called you. I am learning to stop asking rejection for permission to exist. I will not let it define me. I will let it refine me. Reflection: Where has rejection tried to rename you?🤔 How can you speak God’s truth over that lie today?🤔 Prayer: Lord, when rejection whispers its lies, remind me of Your truth. Anchor my worth in Your love, not in the applause of others. Refine me through the valley, and let me emerge steadfast, humble, and bold in my calling. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Sometimes when someone we love is hurting, the ache to make it better feels like a wildfire in our chest. We want to fix it — patch the broken pieces, give answers, offer solutions. It feels like love to rush in with tools and advice. But true love isn’t always about fixing. It’s about staying. It’s learning to be the safe place, not the rescuer. It’s holding space when the pieces are too scattered to gather. It’s offering the kind of presence that whispers, “You don’t have to carry this alone.” I’ve had to learn this, painfully and patiently. Especially when someone I love is falling apart — not because they want to — but because life has undone them. In those moments, I’ve found the greatest gift I can give isn’t answers... It’s my arms. My stillness. My steady breath beside theirs. My quiet agreement with their pain that says, “You don’t have to be fixed to be loved.” 📖 "Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." — Galatians 6:2 (NKJV) When we rush to fix, we might unintentionally send the message that they’re broken, or that their pain is inconvenient. Yet love — real love — makes room for the mess. It lets the tears fall without trying to catch them all. It sits in the silence, even when the silence is heavy. It doesn’t try to erase the struggle. It honours it. 📖 "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." — Romans 12:15 (NKJV) People may forget the solutions we tried to give. But they will always remember the warmth of the embrace. The cup of tea handed wordlessly. The text that simply read, “I’m here.” These quiet acts of love create sacred spaces where healing can breathe. If you’re someone who loves deeply — you’ll feel this tension. The ache to help. The helplessness when you can’t. But let me remind you: Presence is powerful. You don’t need to have the right words. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to stay close. 🌿 Prayer Lord, teach me to love like You do — not with quick fixes, but with quiet faithfulness. Let my presence reflect Yours: patient, kind, and safe. Help me resist the urge to fix what only You can heal. Teach me to be a haven, not a hero. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. You, dear heart, are not called to carry everyone’s pain. But you are called to love. And love, in its truest form, looks like presence — humble, unhurried, and unwavering. Stay tender. Stay close. You’re doing holy work.

There’s a holy chemistry to grief — a sacred science woven into the fibres of our humanity. Tears, often misunderstood, are not signs of fragility. They are the body's divine way of unburdening sorrow. One of my earliest memories is from when I was three, maybe four years old. I was crying — just wanting to be seen, to be comforted — when my head was shoved under the cold water tap. The shock took my breath away. I gasped, swallowed my tears, and made an unspoken vow: Never cry again. From that moment on, I fought back every tear and boxed up my emotions, believing that showing pain was unsafe.   That vow not to cry was one of the first I had to repent of and renounce on my journey of inner healing. I also had to repent of the expectancy and judgment that emotions were unsafe and chaotic. It took fifty-four years before I finally allowed myself to cry my cries, scream my screams, and grieve my losses.   I remembered Sandra, a dear friend, saying in one of her lessons, “If you’d allow yourself to cry, you wouldn’t have to cry through your nose,” referring to her constant sinus issues. I must admit, my own sinuses have improved substantially since I’ve allowed myself to cry. God, in His mercy, has been unravelling that vow, gently teaching me that tears are not weakness — they are release. That He bottles every one. That what the enemy once used to silence my emotions, He can redeem as streams of healing.   Did you know your body produces three types of tears?🤔 Basal tears – gentle guardians that keep your eyes nourished Reflex tears – defenders that flush out smoke or dust Emotional tears – born from heartbreak, love, loss, or deep relief Only emotional tears carry stress hormones. Only these tears carry the pain we sometimes cannot speak.   📖 "You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?" — Psalm 56:8 (NKJV)God designed us with release valves. Tears are not weakness — they are sacred expressions. Every drop has purpose. Every tear is counted. Perhaps you've been told you're too sensitive. Too emotional. Too much.   Yet what if... you're simply wired for healing?🤔   Tears do not mean you're falling apart. They are healing in motion. A mercy-wash for the ache within.   So, dear heart — When was the last time you cried?🤔 Did something shift?🤔 Did your soul sigh in that quiet exhale?🤔   Don’t resist the tears. Let them fall like rain upon the parched ground of your grief. Let them baptise the pain you’ve carried silently for too long.   💧 Grief has chemistry. 💧 Tears are not weakness… they’re release. Prayer: Lord, I bring You my hidden sorrow and the tears I’ve held back for too long. Help me to trust that each tear is noticed, each ache known. Let my release become the beginning of restoration. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Some women are adorned in silks and lace, but I — I am clothed in something far rarer. I wear the quiet strength of the man who knows me. Who has seen every fractured piece of my story for 34 years and still holds me with reverence. Clive’s love is not performative, not perfection, but presence — unwavering and faithful. His arms have become my safest place on earth. He doesn't just look at me with affection; he sees the woman I was, the woman I am, and the woman I’m still becoming. He honours all of her. His touch carries the weight of loyalty. His embrace tells me: You’re safe. You’re home. These words capture it perfectly: ✨ The most beautiful clothes that can dress a woman… Aren’t silk, lace, or velvet. They are the arms of the man who knows her soul, Who worships her not just with his eyes, But with his touch, his loyalty, his love. The kind of arms that make her feel like the most sacred thing he’s ever held. That wraps around her not just in passion, but in protection, in pride, in permanence. In his embrace, she is more than stunning — She is safe. She is home. She is loved so deeply that no designer could ever replicate the beauty of what it feels like to belong completely to someone. Because when a woman is loved right, his arms become her favourite outfit — and her smile, his finest accessory. ✨It reminds me of a truth found in the Word: 📖 "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favour from the Lord." — Proverbs 18:22 (NKJV) Clive has loved me through seasons of strength and seasons of sorrow. He has chosen me again and again — not just in vows, but in a thousand quiet moments of kindness. His arms have never felt like cages; they’ve always been wings. A Prayer of Gratitude Abba Father, thank You for the precious gift of covenant love. For a husband whose arms carry not only strength but gentleness. Thank You that in Clive’s embrace I find refuge, laughter, and rest. May our love reflect Your glory — selfless, sacrificial, and steadfast. Let our marriage be a shelter for others, a picture of Christ’s love for His bride. Teach us to keep choosing each other, to honour, protect, and uplift. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. --- Dear heart, If you’ve never known this kind of love, don’t give up hope. The One who holds your soul most tenderly is Jesus — and He calls you beloved, cherished, chosen. You are never alone.💗 You are safe. You are seen. You are so deeply loved. 💗

Sometimes, when the room gets quieter and the phone stops ringing, when invitations dry up and people slip away without explanation… it stings. Especially for a heart like mine — one stitched together by love, connection, and the desire to walk alongside others. I’ve often wrestled with the silence that follows someone's departure. Was it something I did?🤔 Something I didn’t do?🤔 Yet lately, I’m beginning to see that God’s hand is sometimes most tender in the pruning. We often think loss means failure or rejection. But what if it’s protection? What if God, in His mercy, shortens the guest list of your heart because He overheard conversations, saw motives, and discerned intentions that you couldn’t?🤔 📖 "Do not be deceived: 'Evil company corrupts good habits.'" — 1 Corinthians 15:33 (NKJV) Some people come into our lives for a reason — to teach us, challenge us, or mirror something we need to heal. Others enter for a season — their time with us wrapped in a specific assignment or chapter. And a rare few? They're for a lifetime — the soul companions who grow with us, pray with us, and stay through every valley and mountaintop. I used to grieve when circles shrank. Now I pause and ask, “Lord, is this Your pruning or my pushing?” Because sometimes it is me withdrawing — wounded, weary, or afraid. And when that’s the case, I bring that pain to the feet of Jesus. But other times… it’s Him. And when it's His doing, no amount of striving will bring that person back. Nor should it. This pruning is not punishment. It’s preparation. God refines our circle to protect the purity of the calling. To make room for peace. To align us with those who walk in integrity, who water our faith instead of draining it. 📖 "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?" — Amos 3:3 (NKJV) So today, I release the ones who were only meant for a season. I bless them. I forgive where needed. I cherish the lessons, the laughter, even the tears. And then, I lean in — more deeply — to the One who never leaves. Because in the end, I’m not running after people who walked away. I’m walking with the God who stayed. You are not losing people — you’re gaining clarity. And in that clarity, you’ll find a sacred space where your heart can breathe again. You are not too much, too sensitive, or too broken. You are simply being refined for relationships that mirror the way God loves — with truth, compassion, and staying power. 🙌Prayer: Father, thank You for seeing what I cannot. For hearing what I did not. For protecting my heart, even through painful goodbyes. Teach me to trust Your timing and to surrender relationships that no longer align with where You’re leading me. Heal the grief of separation and fill every empty space with Your love. Help me discern who is for a reason, a season, or a lifetime — and to honour them accordingly, without bitterness or regret.In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Grace is when God gives us good things that we don't deserve. Mercy is when He spares us from the bad things we do deserve. And blessings? Oh, blessings are when He is generous with both. This morning I sat with that thought — how unrelenting His kindness is. How undeserved His affection. How breathtakingly lavish His gifts. Not gifts wrapped in glitter and gold, but gifts like peace in the storm, strength for the weary, hope when it all seems dark. 📖 "Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever." — Psalm 136:1 (NKJV) He is generous not just with what He gives, but with who He is. Even when my prayers feel fragile and my gratitude feeble, I remember: I’ll never run out of reasons to thank Him. Because even in the breaking, He is blessing. Even in the waiting, He is working. God is good… all the time. And all the time… God is good. ✨ 🪶 Holy Spirit, thank You for covering me in Your grace, holding back what would harm, and pouring out what heals. Open my eyes today to see the blessings hidden in plain sight. May gratitude rise like incense from my heart, not only for what You've done — but for who You are. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Rahab will tell you that your past doesn't define you — God can use anyone. Hagar will tell you God sees you. Esther will tell you to trust God — He will exalt you — in His timing. Hannah will tell you that God answers prayer. Ruth will tell you it’s not over until God says it is. Sarah will tell you that nothing is too hard for God. And... Patrizia will tell you that beauty rises from brokenness and healing flows from the hands of the one who mends hearts with His own. She’ll tell you about the little girl who learned to be brave in the shadows. About a heart once weighed down by rejection, now learning to rest in belovedness. She’ll whisper of creativity becoming a lifeline —brushstrokes that carried prayers, and pages that caught her tears. She’ll tell you that faith is not about always feeling strong, but about trusting the One who is. That love, when poured out freely, never returns void. That her greatest measure of success isn’t status or applause, but the lives touched by gentleness, truth, and grace. 📖 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." — Psalm 34:18 (NIV) And if you listen closely, you’ll hear it in her laughter, see it in her art, and feel it in her embrace of those who feel unseen. She’ll tell you that your story, like hers, isn’t over. That God is still writing. Still redeeming. Still restoring. Prayer Lord, thank You that You waste nothing — not pain, not tears, not even shattered pieces. Write Your story through me. Let every scar become a testimony of Your healing touch. Use my life to bring light into the lives of others, even as You continue to heal mine.In Jesus’ Name, Amen. You are not forgotten, beloved one. Your story matters — because He’s in it and that makes all the difference.

This morning at Shona’s Life Group, something unexpected and holy happened. Eric, the prophet, had arrived. He shared a word with the group and then began speaking prophetically over each person. When he turned to me, just like the previous time, earlier this year, his words were brief but weighty: "You are a chosen one. God has chosen you." That was all and yet, it was everything. The moment those words were spoken, the atmosphere shifted. My body gave way and I was slain in the Spirit — not out of emotional hype, but because my soul recognised the truth it had been longing to hear. I was completely undone. My whole being responded with a “yes” that came from the deepest place. You see, for someone like me — someone who’s wrestled with the scars of rejection and the ache of abandonment — being chosen has never come easily. I’ve often felt overlooked, replaceable, not quite enough. So to hear God Himself call me chosen… it cracked something open in me. What does it mean to be a chosen one? It means He sees me. Not the mask. Not the performance. Me. 📖 “You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit...” — John 15:16 (NKJV) It means I was not an accident or an afterthought. I was wanted. Desired. Set apart. 📖 “…He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love…” — Ephesians 1:4 (NKJV) Chosen ones don’t always have it easy. We often walk through valleys deeper than most. We feel things others brush past. We carry heaven’s ache and earth’s weight. But we’re also drawn into the tenderness of Jesus in a way few understand. To be chosen is not just to be called — it’s to be cherished. I think this word needs some early morning snuggle time with Jesus. There’s more He wants to say to my heart. More healing. More identity to be restored. More of His delight to uncover. Because when God calls you chosen, He’s not just assigning you a role. He’s giving you a place in His heart that no one else can fill and today, I believe Him. I am seen. I am known. I am chosen. And that changes everything. Holy Spirit, Thank You for meeting me in that moment. Thank You for speaking directly to the ache I've carried for so long. I receive this word — not as a label to strive for, but as a truth to rest in. Teach me what it means to be chosen. Let it soak into the old places where rejection once lived. Rewrite every lie with Your love. Wrap me in the warmth of Your presence, and anchor my heart in this truth: You wanted me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

As children, we once looked up with wide eyes and full hearts, declaring, “My daddy is the strongest!” or “My mummy is the prettiest!”   We believed it with all our being before we knew disappointment. Before broken promises. Before silence that spoke louder than words. Somewhere along the way, the pedestal we placed our parents on began to crumble. Sometimes gradually, other times through one shattering moment. Their humanness startled us. Their weaknesses wounded us. And in those moments, our child-heart didn’t know what to do with the pain.  📖 "Grandchildren are the crowning glory of the aged; parents are the pride of their children." — Proverbs 17:6 (NLT) What happens, then, when the pride is replaced by pain? 🤔 When the one we once celebrated becomes the one we silently resent? 🤔   The truth is, many of us were never taught how to repair after rupture. We were disciplined, perhaps, but not discipled into reconciliation. We were scolded for speaking up, not shepherded through sorrow. So we learned to suppress, to survive. But suppressed pain grows roots — deep roots of offence, bitterness, and even contempt. And if left unresolved, it dishonours not just them, but also the very image of God etched into our hearts.   📖 "If you insult your father or mother, your light will be snuffed out in total darkness." — Proverbs 20:20 (NLT) This verse isn’t about shame. It’s about sacred alignment. Honour is not about excusing wrong behaviour — it’s about choosing to see with redemptive eyes, to release what was broken into God’s hands and trust Him to restore what we cannot.   And here’s the sobering truth: These childhood judgements — the ones we quietly made in our pain — don’t stay neatly boxed up and labelled “Mum” or “Dad.” They leak. They morph and mutate. They spill into every relationship with caregivers, mentors, bosses, spiritual leaders… even our view of God.   The anger or distrust we never voiced becomes the lens through which we see the world and suddenly, we’re not just reacting to them anymore — we’re reacting to echoes.   I can see this clearly now. The expectancies I placed on others and the silent judgements I made when those expectations weren’t met have affected me more deeply than I realised. They’ve shaped the way I've responded to teachers at school, colleagues in the workplace, and even recent situations with my boss, church leaders, pastors, and elders. Each moment of mistrust was like an echo from a wound not yet fully healed. Each disappointment carried the weight of unresolved grief. Sometimes, we even come to expect people to treat us in certain ways and when they do — whether through rejection, avoidance, control, or dismissal — it confirms a familiar ache. We silently declare, “See? 🤔 You’re just like them.” Not because they truly are, but because the wound recognises the pattern and in that moment, we are no longer judging the person before us — we are judging through the filter of unresolved pain from the past.   And here’s another tender truth: In our wounding, we often fail to separate the behaviour from the person. What they did becomes who they are in our eyes and without realising it, we write entire narratives around people based on moments of pain — narratives that may not be entirely true.   Yet the wound clings tightly, because it longs for protection more than perspective. But Jesus calls us higher — to forgiveness that doesn’t blur boundaries, but brings clarity. He teaches us to name the wrong, release the person, and allow His truth to do what our judgment never could: heal.   Forgiveness doesn’t require us to pretend all was well and that what they did wasn't painful. Honour doesn’t mean becoming silent or small. Rather, it is a posture of humility that says, “Even in my pain, I choose freedom. I choose blessing over bitterness.” because the fifth commandment was not a suggestion — it was a seed. 📖 "Honour your father and your mother… that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you." — Exodus 20:12 (NKJV) This is the only commandment that carries a promise which means, inversely, that dishonour becomes a doorway to shortened joy, fractured wellbeing, and generational pain. The law of sowing and reaping applies not only to fields, but to families. If our parents tempted us to wrath, may we release them from the debt of perfection. If they failed to model conflict resolution, may we learn it anew with God. If they wounded us deeply, may we bring those wounds to the Healer who binds the broken-hearted because freedom isn’t found in forgetting — it’s found in forgiving.   A Heartfelt Prayer Father God, You see the tangled web of memories, some sweet, some searing. Where there was neglect, bring nurture. Where there was anger, bring peace. Help me forgive what still feels unforgivable — not by my own strength, but through Your grace. Teach me how to honour even in pain, how to set healthy boundaries while still holding sacred what You called holy. Let the legacy I carry forward be one of healing, not hurt. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.   A Gentle Invitation If the pedestal has fallen… don’t be afraid to rebuild a new kind of honour — one rooted in truth, tempered by grace, and held together by the redemptive love of Jesus. You are not alone in this. You are seen. You are healing and you are rewriting the story, one surrendered step at a time. 🌿💛

Sometimes, integrity feels like truth — even when it trembles on your lips. It’s staying faithful to what you believe — not just in public, but in the quiet corners of your life. It’s tested when: You’re tempted to cut corners for comfort or gain. You choose silence over gossip, grace over retaliation. You admit your mistakes rather than cover them up.– You keep loving those who have walked away. You answer “I’m fine” when inside you’re freaking out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional. You’re tempted to save face by lying through omission — leaving out parts of the truth to avoid embarrassment, conflict, or consequence. That last one? It’s subtle. It hides behind good intentions. Yet Holy Spirit, so gentle and kind, convicts us not to half-speak our truth. He calls us higher — not for punishment, but for purity. For our hearts to be truly whole. The world often rewards compromise, but I don’t want what costs me my peace. Integrity is the oil in my lamp — keeping my flame lit for the Bridegroom’s return. 📖 "The integrity of the upright will guide them, but the perversity of the unfaithful will destroy them." — Proverbs 11:3 (NKJV) I want to be guided by that light. To live honestly and generously. To be the same in the secret place as I am in the spotlight. To speak truth with kindness and love deeply without an agenda. Personal integrity is the alignment between my values and actions. It’s not about being perfect — it’s about being true. True to my principles. True to my word. True to the person God created me to be. When I live with integrity, I foster trust — not just with others, but within myself. That trust builds confidence and self-respect, because I know I’m being honest. That I’m living an undivided life — one where my inner world and outer world mirror one another with grace. 📖 “Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” — Matthew 5:37 (NKJV) It’s not just about being truthful to others; it’s also about honouring myself. That means keeping my promises to me. Following through on goals and dreams — not for performance, but because they are sacred. Because I am sacred. Because self-respect is the cornerstone of a life lived well. Without it, I’m not truly whole. So I will value who I am, not just what I do. I will speak kindly to the mirror and stop hiding behind polished answers. I will treat myself with the same love, honour, and dignity I so freely give others. 📖 “He who walks with integrity walks securely, but he who perverts his ways will become known.” — Proverbs 10:9 (NKJV) I no longer measure success by what others can see. I measure it by my ability to lay my head down at night and feel God's smile. So I keep walking — even when it’s lonely, even when the cost is high. I know Who goes with me. Prayer: Jesus, You are the Truth. Let my life echo that truth with honesty, humility, and wholeness. Help me to walk in integrity not only with others, but with myself — no masks, no pretence, just a surrendered heart. Let me reflect Your character in my actions, my words, and the way I show up for my own soul. Teach me to honour myself as one created in Your image.In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

I came across this image today — an eagle in full, commanding flight… with a crow perched on its back. At first, it felt absurd. A crow? 🤔Riding an eagle? 🤔Pecking at its neck like a child trying to annoy a lion. Yet the eagle didn’t thrash. Didn’t twist mid-air to retaliate. It didn’t even flinch. It just kept soaring higher.   Higher and higher… until the crow, breathless from the altitude, had no choice but to let go. Isn’t that exactly how we’re called to live? 🤔  📖 “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles…” — Isaiah 40:31 (NKJV) Some days the opposition doesn’t come in thunderclaps but in persistent, pecking distractions — words that sting, misunderstandings that cling, criticism that loops in your mind like a crow on your back.   Oh, how I’ve felt the crows lately. The naysayers. The self-doubt. The jabs cloaked in concern. The echo of old wounds trying to convince me I’m not enough. By words, expectations, inner critics, and yes… even some people I’ve tried to love well. The noise of it all can be deafening. And it’s tempting, oh so tempting, to turn around and fight, to explain, to defend, to correct. But in the quiet with Holy Spirit this morning, I sensed a gentle whisper: “Don’t flap. Don’t fight. Just rise.” You were never meant to wrestle with crows. You were meant to rise.   Sometimes elevation is our best answer. Not to be aloof. Not to escape. But because when we lift our eyes, when we set our minds on things above (Colossians 3:2), the air gets clearer. The noise grows faint. And we begin to breathe in truth again.   We don’t rise by striving. We rise by surrender. We ascend in stillness, when we remember who we are and whose we are. The eagle isn’t distracted by the crow because it knows its domain — the heights. You were never meant to live among the noise. Your wings were made for altitude.Not every voice deserves a reply. Not every battle requires our presence. Some things fall away not because we fought, but because we outgrew them. Because the air we're called to breathe is found in the secret place — the high place.   We don’t have to engage every accusation. We don’t have to descend into arguments or try to prove our worth. The crow cannot survive the heights God is calling us to. The more we rise — in faith, in peace, in trust — the more the voices that don’t belong to us fall away.   📖 “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” — Exodus 14:14 (NIV)   🪶 So I choose today to stop flapping… and start soaring. To worship instead of worry. To trust instead of tremble. To lift my eyes to the hills, where my help comes from. I will not be brought down by what was never meant to ride on my back. I will keep rising — not because I’m strong, but because His strength carries me. Because the wind beneath my wings is not my own effort, but His Spirit lifting me. Because that’s who I am:Not a fighter of crows, but a daughter of the most High.Not called to wrestle, but to rise. 🙌 Prayer: Jesus, teach me to rise.When others misunderstand me, help me resist the urge to fight back.Lift me above the noise, above the need to be seen or defended.Let me breathe in Your truth — not the accusations.Make me like the eagle: still, strong, surrendered to the winds of Heaven.In Jesus’ Name, Amen. — I'm not losing the battle, beloved. I'm just climbing higher. 🦅 I'll keep soaring. They were never meant to follow me to this altitude.

I’m still feeling groggy this morning, the blocked nose lingering like fog over my thoughts. I didn’t get up at 4:45 am when I first stirred. Clive was already awake, on his phone — apparently, I’d been snoring. I turned over and closed my eyes again. This cold or flu has clung to me for a couple of days now. My lips are cracked and sore... winter lips for the 3rd time since we've been in New Zealand and honestly… I don’t just feel tired. I feel flat like a battery that’s not just low, but completely flat. Somewhere in the early morning stillness, I had another strange dream. I don’t remember much, only this vivid image — something hanging out of my left eye tooth. When I pulled it, it unravelled like a never-ending bandage until there was a huge pile in my hand. That same tooth had fractured recently. Not long ago — only two weeks — I’d been to the dentist for that exact tooth. The filling had broken. The tooth, mostly patchwork now, was fragile. And even the recent repair has already begun to wear down again. A real-life echo of the dream's imagery. Then, I found myself downstairs, wearing old pyjamas — a long t-shirt top I used to wear in South Africa before the boys were even born. More than 28 years ago. They were on backwards. I hadn’t expected anyone to be there. Yet I could sense Clive and others nearby. Embarrassed, I rushed back upstairs to change — to cover, to make myself more presentable. Isn’t it wild how shame still finds ways to whisper, even in sleep? Yes, that girl still lives somewhere inside me — the one who wore oversized tops, not to be seen, who hadn’t yet mothered, ministered, or mended. That moment pierced deeper than I expected. Why do I still feel the need to hide when the past shows up on me? Downstairs again, Elias was in a neighbouring room. I avoided him, though not from fear or bitterness — only detachment — a quiet ache that no longer feels safe to expose. Oddly, when I saw him at The Crate on Friday, I didn’t feel the urge to leave. I just didn’t feel like engaging. In the dream, he stood at the door, back turned, putting on a cream jacket I’ve never seen before. Something about that image felt symbolic. A departure. A new identity. A distance. Maybe even a finality. Only time will tell where this relationship leads, but for now, the friendship I once cherished is fraying at the edges. Broken trust is hard to mend when safety has been compromised. 📖 "The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit." — Psalm 34:18 (NKJV) There are places in me still learning to be seen — as I am now, and as I was then. Even when I wear the past inside out. I'm being reclothed in righteousness, precious one — and no old garment, no foreign jacket, and no broken tooth can ever define me. Today I let this dream be my invitation to shed the past and step into what is new, clothed by grace.