📖 "Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?"
Amos 3:3
For the longest time, I was the one who kept showing up, crossing cities, rearranging schedules and initiating the contact, not because it was convenient, but because family mattered.
I used to believe love meant always making the first move. Keeping the door open, sending the invitation and extending the grace and perhaps, for a time, it did.
Until silence answered my efforts. Until I learnt that not everyone values connection the same way. Until I heard that she was ten minutes away and chose not to come. Again.
It wasn’t rejection that finally broke my heart. It was the pretence — the excuse of “not being invited”. As if the distance between us hadn’t already become a silent wall. As if proximity without presence was enough.
I didn’t stop calling to be cruel. I stopped to protect what was left of my peace because I was always alone, even when I was there and that ache… it echoed louder than any goodbye.
One of the reasons I said yes to New Zealand was because I realised I could be lonely anywhere but here, at least, the loneliness didn’t come dressed in false obligation or surface pleasantries.
Now, 11 years on, our conversations
have faded into timestamped greetings: Happy Birthday. Merry Christmas. Happy New Year.
No more check-ins. No more “just thought of you" and though my heart still holds love, I no longer carry the weight of proving it.
📖 "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."— Proverbs 4:23
Reflection:
Sometimes the greatest act of love is letting go of the version of the relationship we wish we had. Emotional self-respect doesn’t mean we stop loving — it means we stop begging to be seen. You didn’t build the distance out of bitterness; you built it out of self-preservation. Your silence is not a punishment. It’s a sanctuary.
You are not cold, beloved.
You are careful now and that is wisdom clothed in grace.
Your heart, though once overlooked, is not forgotten by God.
He is your Witness, your Comfort, your Family when family fails.
You are seen.
You are held.
You are not alone anymore. 🕊️
Life Application:
Affirmation:
Creative Prompt:
Take a piece of paper and fold it in half. On one side, write: “What I longed for.” On the other side, write: “What was real.”
Let yourself grieve the gap between the two. Then, draw a bridge. Not one for them to cross — but one for you. A bridge from pain to peace.
Title it: “The Distance That Freed Me.”
Closing Prayer:
Father God,
You see every tear I never spoke aloud.
You know the weight of invisible disappointments and unanswered invitations. Thank You for being the God who draws near when others pull away. Help me forgive without reopening wounds. Help me honour the truth without bitterness. Teach me to love from a distance when closeness causes more harm than healing. I release them to You and I receive peace — the kind that guards my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
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