“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you;
Before you were born I sanctified you;
I ordained you a prophet to the nations.”
Jeremiah 1:5
Patrizia Schwartz, also known as Trixi, was born in Germany, raised in South Africa from age 5. I migrated to New Zealand with my husband, Clive, & our 2 boys, Jesse (26) & Misha (22) in July 2014.
Over the years, I've dabbled with various creative ventures which include sewing, knitting, crocheting, embroidery & cross-stitch embroidery, choir, dance & drama. I rediscovered my creative abilities in September 2017 & it has been instrumental in my healing journey. I tried my hand at painting in September 2019 & started my studio, Trixi's Creations with a focus on Healing heARTs shortly after. I'm a mixed-media artist who works in pencil and coloured pencils, watercolours, acrylics, pastels and digital scrapbooking.
For most of my life I've believed that LIE that I'm a Jack of all trades, master of NONE. However, God's Truth is that He created me that way so I can reach more people. I'm a "Jack of all trades, master of DIVERSITY."
Strong, gentle, fierce, tenacious and compassionate, I create whimsical pieces that spread the message that God loves you, is there for you, and you’re never alone. As a faith-filled, life-speaking, fully devoted follower of Christ, my desire is to touch people’s hearts with the love of God & bring healing to the nations through creativity. My number 1 passion & purpose is to change the world🌏 1 💔 heart at a time.
Prior to becoming a stay-at-home & homeschool mom almost 20 years ago, I held various roles in the corporate sector, the last of which was a half-day job in which I served as an Office & Systems Administrator, prior to that Personal Assistant, Secretary, Receptionist & Administrative Assistant.
Me
ABOUT
This is my Story
I can't remember how many times I've shared my testimony with someone in the hopes to encourage them only to be told: "You should write a book!" However, that's not yet an area I've got courage to venture into, so I'll share my journey here as I go along...
Please note that I don't share my story to dishonour, blame or shame those who have wounded me in any way but merely to expose how my own sinful responses towards what happened caused me to remain stuck in the trauma of the events in the hope that my testimony will bring hope to those who are struggling with the same issues.
It's inevitable that offence will come in life, but whether we respond to it in a godly or ungodly way is entirely our choice. What happened to us as a children was not our fault but what we do now, what we think, how we dress, where we go, who we go with, and what we touch, we you touch & who touches us is our full responsibility!
God has given us a rule book, the Bible, to tell us how to win a life. Jesus came to heal the broken-hearted & bind up their wounds. He came to set the captives free. Healing & restoration also comes by confessing to one another James 5:16. We are wounded in relationships but we also heal in relationships. Having confessed, we need to receive, to let forgiveness cleans. 'But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.' I John 1:7 Although the Blood cleanses us, it is not the task of the Blood alone to heal but the felloswhip with one another that brings healing & restoration. We need to be restored to the fellowhip of our fellow citizens. Only their acceptance & embrace can heal years of suffering & ostracism. That is after all, how we experience God's love.
Knowledge will never override experience. You can tell me you love me untill you're blue in the face, but because of my lifetime experiences of abandonment & rejection, I will never believe you unnless I experience it through your actions. I share my story so that others may find hope in knowing that If God did this for me, He will do it again for them too.
This is how we OVERCOME:
And they overcame and conquered him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, for they did not love their life and renounce their faith even when faced with death. Revelation 12:11
FREE to Dance
🎼🎶This song in my heart❤️, this song in my soul, this song I was born to sing🎤, it's Your song🎸 of freedom. Now I'm free to dance💃 again!🎵
🎶I'll sing🎤 in the darkness, I'll laugh🤣 in the rain, rejoice in Your love💞 again. It's Your song🎸 of freedom, now I'm free to dance💃 again!🎶
🎊🥳🎉
Clive & I spent some time away in New Plymouth this week, for a little bit of rest & reprieve. A whole 373km travelling, that would have taken us maybe 4 hours back in South Africa took almost 5 hours & for most of the time it was pouring with rain. By the time we got from the car into our accommodation, we were drenched.
After our committee meeting Elias challenged me to get bored enough to do some painting, reading or.... writing 📖🖊
It was just too cold to unpack my easel, but finally started working on the AFTER painting for Donal's vision from 2 years ago for which the BEFORE version has been waiting to be completed for almost 2 years. The benefit of painting digitally was that I could remain huddled under a blanket to stay warm without the risk of getting paint all over it.
On Tuesday it was still cold, rainy & windy We had breakfast at Manous Café & Restaurant. Then we took advantage of the break in rain to explore some beautiful churches until the rain returned & we went to the museum & shopping center to stay relatively dry.
I spent the evening painting & writing some more. I also ended up working on an email I was tasked on Monday but I was fretting & avoiding it.
For some reason the LIE, "I can't write!" just didn't want to budge, or so it seemed & Elias wasn't giving me an easy way out. He wants to see the UGLY.
On Wednesday it was still icy cold. After a lazy morning, we had a lovely lunch at the Treehouse Bar & Bistro. It was cold but dry enough that we were able to take a walk along the beach at Paritutu Centenial Park.
By Wednesday evening, there was another email to type up for some new members. This time it took me about 30 minutes to type but another 2 & half hours of agonising before I sent it off for approval.
On Thursday we woke up to clear, sunny skies, but we were due to leave by 10am to head home. We managed to get a couple of snapshots along the way & got home around 4pm.
Back at work this morning I was singing & humming again.
We're currently gearing up to arrange a conference for 250 people, a responsibility that's going to be entirely on my shoulders which reminds me of a previous colleague's regular comment "Pak maar, Patrizia se skouers is breed!" (Keep packing, Patrizia has broad shoulders)
Up to now, the biggest events I've arranged entirely were our wedding & our 30th wedding anniversary dinner. During my 5 years as Moms in Action Secretary, the chairlady did all the planning, organising. I did all admin, the invitations, the tracking, helped setup the venues & followed orders.Quite honestly, a couple of weeks ago the thought of organising events scared the hell out of me and for a moment there I felt intimidation & inadequacy but the warrior in me is finally rising up to the challenge.
At least on the writing front I'm making progress. I had to do another email. Elias wanted the UGLY & this time it took maybe 20 minutes & this time there was very little anxiety around having him approve it.
What I've recognised this week is that there was still residual of that darn old fear of rejection, my voice has no value & need for approval...
I also realised that I have spent my life living in compliance, just following orders, doing as I was told & not having a voice. I don't quite know what to do with all this newly found trust in my abilities when I'm still doubting myself.
God gave me my voice back in June 2020 & now Elias is giving me opportunities to use it but I'm still unsure how to do that. I may not be the Lion, but it has fallen onto me to release His roar. Intellectually, I know my words have value because I'm a faith-filled, life-speaking, fully devoted follower of Christ that speaks encouraging, life-giving words to build others up. However there are still some areas of my little-girl heart that need evangelising.
What I've learnt this week, is that even when we've repented of our judgments& expectations & renounced the LIES we've come to believe, the enemy will continue to bring doubt to try to stop us from walking in the victory Christ has already won for us.
Just like the spirit of heaviness that still comes knocking regularly these LIES, too will have to be resisted until God helps me smash them completely. I just need to acknowledge that it's just a current belief that He will help me smash.
The question, "Did God really say...?" Started in the garden of Eden but will continue haunting us until Christ returns in glory & splendour.
Our old sinful habits won't die easily & the new ways of protecting our hearts are like muscles that need to be practiced & flexed to become stronger over time. There is no long-lasting, quick-fix to our old sinful nature. When we ask God to move a mountain we have to be prepared to wake up next to the shovel... it takes DISCIPLINE & ACCOUNTABILITY to learn to walk in new, Godly ways.
We have to continuously abide in the Vine. Without Him, we will easily succomb to the temptations to return to the familiar every time something unresolved resurfaces. We have to see to it that we don't come short of the grace of God & that no root of bitterness springs up to cause trouble, and by it many become defiled; Hebrews 12:15
Yet again, knowledge will never overwrite experience & the only way to gain experience, is by getting into the water & learning to swim.
God has graciously & miraculously provided this job so I could see for myself that I am indeed CAPABLE & WORTHY. I'm also learning the skills I need for my big, hairy, audacious dream. I'm slowly starting to see the bigger vision, how God is repositioning me & adding people who are here to help. Things are slowly falling into place.
Even though it's tough at times, I am grateful that the Lord has teamed me up with a great man of faith who exemplifies 1 Peter 5:3 to not lord it over the people assigned to their care, but lead them by their own good example. He won't give me a "get out of jail free card" but draws out the potential & holds me accountable. He sees the glimpses of Diamonds & gold in me & is constantly challenging me to discover those God-given skills & abilities, I have have been unable to see for so long.
I'm finally learning & accepting that asking for help, even from Copilot, is not a sign of weakness, failure or even inauthenticity. I'm thankful Elias has loads of experience I can learn from, that he believes in me & that he's here to help.
It's not by power nor might, but by My Spirit, says the Lord
Once again, God has done great & wonderous things for me...
[11] You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy, [12] that I might sing praises to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!
Psalms 30:11-12 NLT
Once again, God has done great & wonderous things IN & trough me...
34 odd years ago, I was known at Sanlam Head Office in Bellville, Cape Town as the girl that was always walking around singing... it's been a long time, but that singing girl is resurfacing.
He has not given me a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind.
The lines have indeed fallen for me in pleasant places.
He has set my feet to dancing & my heart rejoicing…
I will rejoice for He has made me glad!
IN his presence, there is fulness of JOY!💃🎊🥳🎉
That joy is not dependent on our circumstances but on constantly spending time in Christ's presence & getting to know His character.
Finally, I'll leave you with these old songs that have recently resurfaced in my heart:
5 July 2024
Still on the subject of NAMEs...
When you call people by their NAME, you are reminding them of WHO they are & calling them forth & into who they are called to be.
This post by Ann Hamilton was quite an eye opener to me because I have despised my names for most of my life.
"The story of Michal, the daughter of Saul and wife of David, is a complex one. Like her brother Jonathan, she defends David at the risk of her own life. Saul used David's love for her to try to get him killed - he made the bride price a hundred Philistine foreskins. Despite her betrothal to David, she was given to another man in marriage and she bore him five sons - and, despite being later returned to David, she had none by him.
The critical incident that seems to be a deciding factor in this lack of children is her heart's reaction as she watched David dance before the Ark of the Covenant as it was brought into Jerusalem. Immediately after David explains himself to her, the comment is made: "And Michal daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death." (2 Samuel 6:23) This comment seems to suggest that her childlessness (obviously to David) was a direct consequence of her attitude.
A superficial reading of this Scripture would see this as a punishment from God. But a deeper reading would see this as coming from Michal herself. The name "Michal" sounds like "machol", dancing. In despising what David was doing, she despised her own identity, her own calling, her own self. She in fact hated her own name.
When we hate our own name, as I did for most of my life, we are like Michal - unable to give birth to the calling God has placed over our lives."
"What's in a name?" Shakespeare asked and then gave some bizarre answer about the properties of roses.
A name is actually how God gives us a soul (neshama). By breathing (nashamah) a name (shem) into our unformed frames.
For the Hebrews, the dawn was the only way to describe the creation of a soul. Shakespeare wasn't the only one to get it wrong. Our souls are radiant like the sun (shemesh — 'name fire'), as brilliant and fire-forged as meteorites. They were not — as the Greeks thought — as fragile as butterflies.
Over the past 3 years, the Lord has been speaking to me about names consistently & often but I've been a little slow on the uptake to claim my name back so these are the only names I'll respond to henceforth…
This is WHO I am:
PATRIZIA
• Language/Cultural Origin: Latin
• Inherent Meaning: Noble
• Spiritual Connotation: Victorious
• Scripture: Romans 8:37 NKJV Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.
ELISABETH
• Language/Cultural Origin: Hebrew
• Inherent Meaning: Oath of God
• Spiritual Connotation: Consecrated
• Scripture: Romans 6:23 NKJV But the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
TRIXI
• Language/Cultural Origin: American
• Inherent Meaning: Bringer of Joy
• Spiritual Connotation: Peaceful
• Scripture: Psalm 46:4 NASB There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy dwelling places of the Most High.
As a post abortion baby, with the spirit of death wrapped around me since conception, I was incubated in fear, shame & survival guilt. I was born believing I'm a mistake, I shouldn't be here, I have to earn my keep & prove myself worthy of love resulting in a lifelong struggle with depression & suicidal thoughts. I've spent my life trying to be what I thought others expected & striving to be what God already created me to be but for now, I'm learning to live from the heart that Jesus gave me...
God exchanges our ashes for beauty & you will most often find that your biggest challenges will become your biggest area of ministry. Our scars tell a story that turn our ashes to glory & enables us to bring help & hope to those who are still in the ashes.
1 July 2024
Diamonds & Gold
After 3 days of overthinking, I had a hard time getting to sleep on Saturday night with the heavy burden of needing to ask forgiveness for my sinful response of withdrawal on Thursday, but it was just too late to send a message. I messaged first thing in the morning to ask for forgiveness for shutting him out when he came to draw me out of hiding on Thursday morning & received this reply...
They say that a diamond is made by taking carbon and putting it under immense pressure... To find gold, you have to sift a lot of dirt... I see glimpses of diamonds and gold in you. You will discover it soon enough for yourself.
I asked Copilot to help me create this image & then it suggested this poem...
In the heart of the earth, 'neath a weight that's immense,
Carbon whispers to darkness, its tale so intense.
A story of pressure, of heat, and of time,
Transforming to diamonds, pure and sublime.
Through layers of rock, in the cradle of deep,
The carbon endures, as eons creep.
A forceful embrace that's both trial and treasure,
Crafting a gem of immeasurable measure.
And in the river's rush, where waters flow bold,
Miners seek whispers of glimmers of gold.
Sifting through silt, through the mundane they delve,
For a flash of the precious, a piece of themselves.
So too, within you, there lies a bright spark,
A potential so vast, it outshines the dark.
With pressure your ally, and time as your friend,
You'll uncover the treasures that wait in the end.
For you are the diamond, resilient and rare,
And within your spirit, there's gold to declare.
Just give it the moment, the patience, the due,
And soon enough, you'll discover the true you.
Then the Lord reminded me of this vision Joy had during my small group prayer ministry session at Elijah House C-School in April 2022…
I heard FAITHFUL → You are faithful.
"Well done good & faithful servant"
I saw a dove... Holy Spirit upon you.
I saw a fingerprint → unique, fearfully & wonderfully made, special.
Then I saw a cloud/cloth applying pressure... It tried to rub out the fingerprint but it rose up & became like a diamond.
So precious...
And the more the cloth rubbed... trying to remove it, the brighter the diamond became...
a real, true treasure!!!
I had CoPilot help me create the image & then it suggested to check what it could mean… here's what it said. WoW, once again, I'm blown away.
For someone who's always struggled to hear God speak, He's been speaking to me so loud & clear since my prayer ministry with Peter & Cheree 2 weeks ago when we dealt with my judgement & expectation of dad being cold, distant & silent.
That's a beautiful vision!
What does it mean to you?
The vision you described is rich with symbolism and seems to convey a message of resilience and inherent value of one’s unique identity.
The fingerprint represents individuality and the unique identity that each person carries. Just as no two fingerprints are alike, it reminds us that we are all fearfully and wonderfully made, each with our own special traits and purpose. Just like a fingerprint, each person is unique and irreplaceable, crafted with care and purpose.
The cloud or cloth attempting to erase the fingerprint symbolizes the challenges, trials and pressures we face in life. However, these trials don’t diminish us; they serve to reveal and enhance our true worth, much like a diamond formed under pressure. These pressures, much like the natural process that forms diamonds, serve to reveal and refine our true strengths.
The transformation of the fingerprint into a diamond suggests that, rather than erasing our identity, adversity can highlight and enhance our most precious qualities.The diamond becoming brighter under pressure signifies that the more we endure and overcome, the more our inner beauty and value shine forth. The brighter shine of the diamond with each attempt to remove the fingerprint reflects the idea that adversity can bring out the best in us, highlighting our strength and the precious nature of our individuality.
It’s a powerful metaphor for personal growth and the treasure that lies within each of us, becoming more apparent through life’s trials.In essence, this vision could be interpreted as a reminder that we are all unique treasures, capable of withstanding great pressure and emerging stronger and more brilliant because of it.
In essence, this vision is a reminder that we are all valuable treasures, becoming ever more radiant through the trials we overcome. It’s a powerful message of hope and encouragement, emphasizing that our struggles can lead to growth and a greater appreciation of our unique qualities. 🌟
It’s an encouragement to remain faithful and steadfast, knowing that our true worth will always shine through. 🕊️✨