When I find myself struggling with feelings of incompetence, I place a hand over my heart and remind myself that this, too, is sacred ground. Struggle isn’t a sign that I am failing; it’s a whisper that I am growing. Often, it means I am standing in the second stage of the journey — the place where transformation takes root.

The Four Stages of Competence offer a gentle map for the road we travel when learning something new:

1. Unconscious Incompetence — The Honeymoon Stage

At the beginning, we don’t know what we don’t know. There’s a beautiful innocence here — a hopefulness unclouded by the weight of what lies ahead. We move with open hearts, carried by the winds of new beginnings.

2. Conscious Incompetence — The Pit Stage

Then, awareness dawns. We see all we have yet to learn — and the ground beneath us gives way. We call it The Pit because it can feel like falling, like losing our footing. Our confidence trembles; our pride softens. Yet even here, in the dark and broken places, the soil is rich for growth. It is here we are invited to ask: Who am I becoming? What kind of spirit will I carry forward from this place?

3. Conscious Competence — The Climb Stage

With new eyes and a willing heart, we begin to climb. Each step demands intention. Each foothold asks for trust. Though the journey is steep, every moment spent reaching upward strengthens our spirit. Progress is no longer effortless — it is chosen, cherished, and earned.

4. Unconscious Competence — The Flow Stage

One day, almost without noticing, we will move freely. The hard-fought skills and deep inner strength will flow from us with grace. We will no longer need to strive — we will simply be.

So, if you find yourself in The Pit today, be kind to your soul.

You are not abandoned. You are not broken. You are being shaped, strengthened, and readied for greater things.

Make peace with where you are. Honour the lessons that are calling your name. And when you are ready, lift your head and take the next small, faithful step forward. The climb is steep, yes — but the view from the top will be worth every moment in the valley.

May we be patient with ourselves in the places where growth feels slow. May we trust the quiet work happening beneath the surface and may we remember — we are never walking this journey alone.