This morning, I found myself in a heartfelt conversation at The Crate — one that began quite casually but quickly turned deeply personal. We were talking about life, resilience, and faith when my own journey through depression surfaced. I was gently asked how I overcame it, and in that sacred moment, I sensed God opening a door to share not only my story but His deliverance.

What followed was an honest discussion about how God heals the hidden roots of pain — the foundational lies we unknowingly build our lives upon. Lies like "I'm a mistake," “I’m not enough,” “I don’t belong,” or “I shouldn’t be here.” These are the silent beliefs that shape our identity long before we can give them words. Yet, the beauty of God’s mercy is that He doesn’t just patch over our wounds — He restores us from the inside out.

When His truth begins to take root, fear loses its hold. He replaces shame with peace, confusion with clarity, and despair with hope. Through His love, we rediscover who we truly are — fearfully and wonderfully made, deeply wanted, and divinely purposed.

✨ This is the story of how God restores our identity from fear to faith.

1. The Lies We Come to Believe

So many of the lies we live by take root before we even understand the world. Every experience gives us a perception, and if our parents never taught us the truth, those perceptions become our reality.

One of the biggest lies I ever believed was this: “I shouldn’t be here.”

I was born post-abortion, literally after another life was ended. We often fail to realise how this affects children in the womb, because we are spiritual beings. My first response to life was “I shouldn’t be here — I’m a mistake.”

That’s where I came into agreement with the lies of Satan. He whispered, “You shouldn’t be here,” "You're a mistake" and I believed it. That agreement opened a door — a foothold for the enemy. When we say, “I’m a mistake,” the enemy says, “Let me help you with that,” and then surrounds us with people and experiences that reinforce that lie.

2. The Spiritual Impact of Womb Experiences

This was all pre-birth. The womb should be a place of safety, yet when it is marked by fear, rejection, or trauma, that child absorbs it.

If a mother discovers she is pregnant and her first thought is “Oh no,” that baby feels it. Even if she later loves the child deeply, that initial rejection can leave an imprint that echoes, “I’m not wanted.” I carried that for decades.

When abortion occurs and repentance never follows, it spiritually opens a door. Every subsequent baby can be affected, carrying that same spirit of death over their life. I have fought that spirit my entire life — because, without knowing it, I had come into agreement with death instead of life.

Science even confirms what Scripture has always said: children feel their mother’s emotions. When a mother’s emotions are in turmoil, a baby may decide deep down, “It’s not safe to feel,” and numbness becomes their protection, but when we push down emotions for too long, they will eventually come out sideways and we will erupt like volcanoes.

That’s what depression really is — a numbing of the soul.

Healing requires repentance, forgiveness and telling our bodies a new story:

• “Live.”

• “Breathe again.”

• “Heart, beat again, live again hope again, love again.”

3. Fear, Personality, and the Mask of Shyness

For decades, I hid behind the belief that I was shy and introverted. I lived with social anxiety and avoided people — yet deep inside, I loved people. What I later discovered is that what I called “shyness” was actually deep rooted wounding.

If you watch children, babies are naturally expressive and open. Then experiences start to shape them and some begin to retreat. Shyness often begins in childhood as a response to pain, fear, or rejection. It’s not a personality trait — it’s fear masquerading as personality.

God tells us repeatedly, “Do not be afraid. Be bold and courageous.”

Shyness is the opposite of boldness and if it were part of His design, He wouldn’t call us to boldness. When He created Adam and Eve, they were not ashamed. Shyness and hiding came only after the Fall.

Over time, I realised that the more I healed, the more I became who I was meant to be — bold, joyful, and connected. One day, someone told me, “I see you as an extrovert.” I laughed at first. My husband of thirty-three years said, “No way, you’re not extroverted.” because he has only ever known the unhealed, introverted version of me. Yet I knew — something inside me had changed. Healing had uncovered the real me.

4. Unmasking Wounds Hidden as Traits

God didn’t create us to be shy, prideful, or angry. Those are masks born from wounding. Pride and anger are other ways we protect ourselves from pain. Everyone is wounded in some way, and often, what we call our personality is actually our self-protection.

Many wounds can’t even be traced back to clear memories without the assistance of the Holy Spirit because they begin in the womb. We assume that’s just “how I am,” when in truth it’s what I learned to be to survive, but according to God’s original design, we were created for love, connection, and community. Social anxiety, fear of people, or hiding away are not God’s design — they are symptoms of the wound. Healing restores us to the freedom and boldness we were born for.

5. Coming Back to Life

Healing requires turning away from lies, breaking agreement with death, and choosing life again. When we speak words like “I shouldn’t be here,” we must repent and replace them with God’s truth: “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”

Healing is the journey from numbness to feeling again, from hiding to shining, from fear to faith. It’s learning to tell your heart,

“You are safe now.”

“You belong here.”

“You were created on purpose, for purpose.”

As I continue to heal, the shy, introverted girl disappears and the woman of courage — the one God intended — begins to stand tall.

💡Reflection:

• What lies about yourself have you unconsciously agreed with? 🤔

• How might those lies have shaped your sense of identity or belonging? 🤔

• What truth does God speak over those lies today? 🤔

• How can you invite Him into the places of fear to restore courage and love? 🤔

🎺 Affirmation:

I was fearfully and wonderfully made. I choose life, love, and courage. Every wound in me is being healed by His truth, and I am becoming who He always saw me to be.

🙌 Prayer:

Father, thank You for breathing life into me from the very beginning. Thank You that even in the womb, You knew me and called me by name. I repent for every lie I believed about not being wanted, seen, or worthy. Break every agreement I have made with fear or death, and replace it with Your truth and light. Restore boldness, joy, and peace to every part of my being. Help me live with courage, knowing I was created on purpose for Your purpose.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.