Today marks my first Mother’s Day on foreign soil, and somehow, I survived. The boys and I spent the day swimming at Parakai Springs, their laughter mingling with the soft splash of water echoing off the pools. For someone who internalises everything, being busy helps me forget—if only for a moment—the weight pressing on my heart.

Yet, as I scrolled through social media, seeing radiant smiles of mothers and daughters celebrating together, a quiet sadness settled in. It reminded me once again of what I have missed all these years—not having that nurturing role model or mentor to show me how to mother well. I’ve spent countless nights crying, seeking wisdom in the silence, asking God if I’m doing this right. Will my boys one day understand the love that shaped my efforts, or will they only see my shortcomings?

Today, joy and sorrow danced together. The excitement of the day faded, leaving behind a gentle ache—the awareness that while this day continues for my loved ones back home, I am oceans away, still finding my way in this foreign land. Yet even here, God’s grace finds me. He fills the gaps where earthly guidance was missing and teaches me daily how to mother from the well of His love.

I realise now that my heart’s longing for a mother’s tenderness has been met, not through perfect human example, but through the Holy Spirit’s constant, tender presence. He has been my Counsellor, Comforter, and Guide. Every tear sown in uncertainty is being transformed into something sacred—a testimony of His faithfulness.

So tonight, though my heart feels tender, I rest knowing that love is enough. My imperfections are seen, my efforts are known, and God fills in every space I cannot reach.

🙌Prayer:

Father, thank You for mothering me through every lonely season and teaching me how to love my children with Your heart. Heal the places in me that still ache from the absence of earthly nurture, and let Your presence be the balm that restores. Help me to rest in Your sufficiency and trust that my love, though imperfect, is enough in Your hands. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.