There’s a quiet kind of war that happens in the soul when you’re constantly made to feel that you are the problem — not because of what you did, but because someone else doesn’t want to take ownership of their actions. It’s the cruel sleight of hand of emotional manipulation: turning your reaction into the villain so they don’t have to face their own.

As Robert Wilkinson so piercingly put it:✨ “They blame your reaction so they don’t have to own their behaviour… That’s not miscommunication. That’s manipulation.” ✨

It’s not always obvious at first. Especially when you’ve been taught to be kind, to be understanding, to give the benefit of the doubt. But manipulation wrapped in deflection wears many masks — sometimes it looks like calm indifference, sometimes like tears and martyrdom. Either way, it spins a story where your pain becomes the problem, not what caused it in the first place.

Gaslighting is especially cruel. It makes you question your memory, your motives, your very sense of reality. You start apologising for having needs. For wanting clarity. For speaking up.

Dear heart, that’s not miscommunication. That’s warfare against your truth.

Jesus calls us to clarity, honesty, and truth. Anything that distorts or manipulates is not from Him. It’s okay to name behaviour for what it is. It’s okay to walk away from conversations that twist your words and redefine your boundaries. Peace does not require your silence, and grace does not mean enabling abuse.

Start paying attention to the pattern, not the performance. Watch who gets uncomfortable when you start standing tall. Truth has a way of shaking loose every illusion. And when you stop shrinking to make others comfortable, you make room for healing to begin.

You are not too sensitive. You are discerning. You are not overreacting. You are awakening.

🌿 Let the Holy Spirit lead you into all truth, even if that truth feels painful at first. Truth is never cruel. It is freeing.

🙏Closing Prayer

Lord Jesus, You are the Truth that sets us free. Thank You for being my anchor when others try to twist reality. Help me discern the difference between conviction and manipulation. Heal the parts of me that have believed lies about my worth. I release the weight of false blame and step into the freedom You offer. Teach me how to set boundaries with love and courage, knowing that You defend the broken-hearted and lead us into peace.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.