I had a friend over for a catch-up this afternoon and found our conversation deeply disappointing and maybe even disgusting. what she shared left me grieved to the core.

She works in a church office — a place that should be sacred, safe, and Spirit-filled, a place meant to reflect Christ’s love and yet her account was filled with sorrow, which was heartbreaking. She described a culture of bullying, disrespect, dishonour, manipulation and control. These were not accusations levelled at the world but at church leaders. Trusted leaders, instead of nurturing, were using their authority to bully, intimidate and silence. They were wielding their authority like a weapon and have created a culture of fear.

You wouldn’t expect to hear words like bullying, manipulation, dishonour, disrespect, and control in the same sentence as church leadership. But that’s exactly what she's witnessing. Elders use their authority to manipulate and control to the point where she feels silenced, afraid to speak up about the injustices she sees for fear of losing her job. What they’re doing to the pastor, they could just as easily do to her and she's been getting angry about the disrespectful and dishonourable way they've been bullying him for a long time.

The weight of it sat heavily in my studio that day, and while we poured paint and tried to release some of the tension, I could feel the burden linger.

Where is the humility? 🤔The love?🤔 The fruit of the Spirit?🤔

This is not my first rodeo with church wounding topped with my experience of betrayal, rejection and abandonment with vaccine passports implemented by the church still vivid in my mind.

Sadly, this isn’t the first time I’ve heard such testimonies. Another dear friend of mine resigned from her church job decades ago for the very same reason. Then there was the grandmother who was forever taking care of her little grandson because his parents were both working at the church. Another friend was summarily dismissed as maintenance manager and then ignored after hurting his back. We've run into pastors and leaders who had disappeared off the scenes and heard what happened, the betrayal and dishonour they suffered is astounding.

It brings back painful memories of my own — being told "As a life group leader, you should be beyond this" by a pastor after requesting prayer during a season of struggle. The lack of support when I was hospitalised and when we lost loved ones. The moments of rejection and abandonment during the season of vaccine mandates, when the very place meant to be a refuge became a source of pain. With growing concern, I've been observing a situation in our church that has unfolded over the past two years. Once again, we’ve found ourselves in a place of painful division — one that I believe grieves the Holy Spirit and weighs heavily on many of us who don’t wish to choose sides between the pastor and elders.

This is more than a simple disagreement between the leadership — it’s a slow, quiet breaking of fellowship. It’s the unravelling of trust and harmony. And behind this fracture, I believe, are spiritual influences seeking to weaken the very witness and calling of our church. From my perception, the past two years have felt like watching a subtle and hostile takeover — a power grab — a battle for control taking place. The dishonour shown to our pastor, the undermining, the disrespect, the — it does not reflect the character of Christ.

The problem is not new. The betrayal is real. The hypocrisy? 🤔It runs deep and it wounds, not just individuals, but the whole Body of Christ. It wounds the witness of Christ to a watching world.

The hypocrisy present in some church offices continues to grieve many hearts. I believe it grieves the heart of God even more. The anger I feel is not unholy. It is the cry of a heart that longs for righteousness and honour in the house of God.

Where is the humility? 🤔The love? 🤔The fruit of the Spirit— kindness, gentleness, patience? 🤔

There’s something devastating about being hurt in the place where healing was meant to happen.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness" — Galatians 5:22, but these are often lacking, therefore making these offices no different to work in than a secular office. Ultimately, Scripture says we will be known by our fruit — Matthew 7:20 and if these are lacking or downright rotten in our lives, we need to self-reflect to determine where the bad fruit is coming from. “For a good tree does not bear bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit." — Luke 6:43

The lost and vulnerable look at the church in disgust and say, if that's Christianity, then I don't want it. Quite frankly, as a life group leader, in a time of need and seeing how they treated some people, I felt so disgusted, betrayed, rejected and abandoned by my church leadership that I left the church for 12 years because I didn't want that Christianity.

Kingdom culture is one of kindness, courtesy, honour, and respect. What we see now, sadly, does not reflect those values. Confession and repentance are required in areas where we've stepped on other's hearts so forgiveness and restitution can follow.

Although these situations are painful, I remind myself that God sees everything. His justice is not delayed. His mercy is not absent. He is neither blind nor indifferent.

God’s justice will not fail. His ways are higher. His eyes are open.

He sees the dishonour. The manipulation. The dismissal of His beloved ones. He sees the secret tears and the unspoken trauma. And He will not be mocked.

Vengeance is not mine — and thank God for that. Because He alone judges righteously. I believe He is doing a refining work in the hearts of those who remain humble before Him. God uses even hardship to form deep character and draw His servants closer to Him. As for those who misuse their authority to sow discord and control, Scripture assures us that every seed bears fruit. In due time, each one will reap according to what has been sown. They will be rewarded for their actions. I trust that in His time, justice will come, not with bitterness, but with mercy and truth. We may not see the full picture now, but He is still building His Church — not the version that men manipulate, but the one that cannot be shaken. A Church marked by love, repentance, honour, and Spirit-led leadership. So I’ll keep praying. Keep creating. Keep pouring out paint and presence for those whose hearts are aching.

Because healing is possible and our God is faithful.