By all accounts, I should be elated. Triumphant. Ready to dance in the kitchen and post a proud little update. And yet, instead, I find myself crumpled in tears. Not the quiet kind, but the gut-deep sobs that come when something sacred is unearthed — something long buried. Greater Auckland Chorus has done more than test my voice. It’s scratched open old wounds I thought were neatly bandaged. Memories I’d carefully packed away have come spilling out, uninvited. And I see her again — that young girl I used to be. The one who believed, with all her heart, that if she just tried hard enough, achieved enough, and was good enough... then maybe, just maybe, she’d finally be accepted. Acknowledged. Seen. But the bar always moved. An B on a report card was met with a disapproving shake of the head: "You can do better than that." Second place in hurdles meant missing out on the team weekend — not because I didn’t try, but because it wasn’t first. Even the thrill of being accepted into the West Rand Youth Choir was quickly dimmed by, "Well, you’ll have to organise your own transport." And not long after, I was packed off to boarding school — three hours away, just weeks into the term. I never found the courage to try out for choir again in that new place. The silence wrapped itself around me like armour. It’s taken me four months to get this far. Four months of stretching, breaking and rebuilding. Of showing up, even when every part of me whispered, “Why bother?” There were so many moments I nearly gave up. Moments when the old voices echoed too loudly, and I wondered if they were right — if I’d ever be enough. But here I am. A little shaken. A little raw. But standing. Because sometimes, the real audition isn’t the one for the stage. It’s the one where you show up for yourself — scared, scarred, but still singing.

C-School in April 2022 was the hardest for me because the lessons dealt with sexual abuse trauma. Honestly, I don't remember any of the lessons except, Sandra's comment that we must embrace the fireball of pain to get to our healing & that I cried through most of week's lessons & resisted the urge to run from group sessions all week. For the first time since it happened to me as a 12-year-old, I had to admit, molestation is sexual abuse. I felt: Violated Shame Confusion Anger Betrayed I protected myself through dissociation & escape. I had told nobody but lived with the secret, guilt & shame for so long that it was affecting my marriage because I lost my ability to "grin & bear it" & was no longer able to tolerate being touched. About 20 years ago, I stopped wearing dresses, taking care of myself & looking pretty, under the guise of comfort, but recently realised it was a stronghold of self-protection because of unwelcome touch & I was losing my ability to "grin & bear it" because I had suppressed the trauma of sexual abuse for so long. I didn’t want to be touched, seen, or noticed. I heard the Lord remind me of the word during prayer ministry with Sandra & suddenly it dawned on me that COMFORT was the LIE hiding the real reason I had let go of myself much like "I can't sing / draw / paint" were the LIES hiding my fear of not being good enough. After 2 years wrestling with it, I finally realised INVEST meant embracing the "girly girl" He created me to be & yes, invest in new dresses & everything else that required. When the thought of renewing our vows for our 25th anniversary crossed my mind, I shrugged it off as a totally crazy idea because I was in shambles & suicidal back then. But then the prompting returned on my way to C-School & I still thought it was a crazy idea but then Sandee confirmed it as a God-idea in August with her vision of us after prayer ministry & that celebration is a testimony on it’s own birthed out of the healing of my heart. We dismantled the stronghold of denial & henceforth there will be NO more minimisation & denial of pain & trauma. These dismantled strongholds have brought the most noticeable change & freedom in me because the strongholds of guilt & shame affect our courage & ability to be vulnerable around people. "You are glowing" I 've hear people say on numerous occasions since when I tell of what God has done.

On Thursday evening at the Elijah House gathering, I shared my story of my healing ministry journey & how God delivered me from a lifelong struggle with depression & suicidal thoughts to my latest deliverance & dismantling of the stronghold of denial, minimisation of trauma & shame in order to survive & protect my heart.  Throughout my life, my sinful responses, bitter root judgements, bitter expectancies & inner vows resulted repeated trauma & my withdrawal, heart of stone & slumbering spirit, the few remaining of many strongholds of self-protection that I've had in my life. These remaining trauma responses require the Lord loving me back to life through His people but up to C-School healing ministry my self-protection has hindered me from allowing people & even God too close in order to do that.  We are hurt in relationships & these issues can only be healed in relationships. Intimacy (into me see) however, has been one of my biggest struggles because of shame vulnerability & allowing people to see into me has been extremely hard.  Oom Was shared this poem with me during our conversation after the gathering. It resonated with me & I just couldn't resist decorating it for sharing.

Having an identity is one of the most important things to our human nature. "Personal identity” is tied to our self-worth, how we see ourselves represented on a broad global stage among 7 billion other people. A name is your identity. It’s what people call you. It’s what you respond to. It’s what you understand about yourself. From the day we are born, we are assigned this identifier. Some people get nicknames or change their name entirely after they are born, but the common thread is a NAME. Every single thing on planet Earth has a name. PATRIZIA: • Meaning of 444 in the Bible: 444 is a symbol of God's righteousness in the bible. • Meaning: The meaning of the name Patricia is: a patrician (an aristocrat or nobleman), of noble birth/descent. TRIXI: • bringer of joy • Meaning: bringer of joy. Trixie as a girl's name is of English origin meaning "bringer of joy." I have spent my life shying away from my name because I had disassociated from myself & people always struggled to pronounce it & would end up giving me nicknames Pat, Patat, Trish to name a few. I've lived by Trys for much of my life & after moving to New Zealand I reverted to Trixi, a nickname my grandmother had given me before we left Germany & was revived during my visit 34 years later after her death. I reverted to Trixi in an attempt to dissociate from my past because Patrizia & Trys reminded me of all the pain & trauma I had experienced throughout my life. All my life, I hated my name (which I learnt last year is actually spiritual rebellion), but after prayer ministry in May 2021, I was told to claim my name back. It's taken a long time, but I've finally embraced my name... & really appreciate those all the more who call me Patrizia. In May last year during the Elijah House Loved, Chosen, Free seminar prayer ministry demo to dismantle my foundational lie, "I am a mistake!", quite oddly Sandra asked me if Trixi was my real name & I said no, my name is Patrizia. She wrote it on her notes & continued ministry. During the lunch break a lady asked me if I knew what my name meant. I didn't but she had checked... Patrizia (a name I've shied away from all my life) means of noble birth & Trixi means bringer of joy. She insisted I ought to reclaim my name. God gave humanity the authority to name things & invest it with all that a name carries: Identity, destiny & calling. However for most of my life I was known as Trys which has no connection whatsoever to any my names... A few weeks later it dawned on me that the enemy had attacked me on the area of my identity even before birth when mom wanted to call me Elisabeth meaning blessing of God but Oma insisted she give me a decent name because all the women in our family before mom were Elisabeth. During A-School group prayer ministry we prayed through the issues with accepting my name & I have since taken full ownership of it hence I now introduce myself as "My name is Patrizia but if you struggle to pronounce it, you may call me Trixi. In January, during EH B-School, Sandra had a vision saying: "I see the Lord with a mantle of nobility. It's yours if you wish to claim it." I felt she was talking to me but due to my stronghold of denial, guilt, shame & a hardened heart I was unable to accept it at the time. Last week's EH C-School was all about shame & sexual abuse. For the first time since it happened to me 40 years ago, it dawned on me that molestation IS sexual abuse & I was shaken to the core but I had to embrace the fireball of pain in order to get to my healing. All these years I have coped by denying the severity of my abuser's actions & suppressing all the resulting trauma & emotions as well as blaming myself & hardening my heart. During group prayer ministry on Thursday afternoon, the Lord exposed the lies, denial, false guilt & shame subsequently dismantling my biggest stronghold yet. On Friday morning whilst driving to our last day of classes, the Lord reminded me of Sandra's vision about the mantle & then I heard Him say: "It's still yours, my child, come take your mantle." A person's name is the greatest connection to their own identity and individuality. Some might say it is the most important word in the world to that person. ... When someone remembers our name after meeting us, we feel respected and more important. It makes a positive and lasting impression on us.

I received this vision from Joy during my Elijah House C-School prayer ministry session: I heard FAITHFUL → You are faithful. "Well done good & faithful servant" I saw a dove... Holy Spirit upon you. I saw a fingerprint → unique, fearfully & wonderfully made, special. Then I saw a cloud/cloth applying pressure... It tried to rub out the fingerprint but it rose up & became like a diamond. So precious... And the more the cloth rubbed... trying to remove it, the brighter the diamond became... a real, true treasure!!! I had CoPilot help me create the image & then it suggested to check what it could mean… here's what it said. WoW, once again, I'm blown away. That's a beautiful vision! What does it mean to you? The vision you described is rich with symbolism and seems to convey a message of resilience and inherent value of one’s unique identity. The fingerprint represents individuality and the unique identity that each person carries. Just as no two fingerprints are alike, it reminds us that we are all fearfully and wonderfully made, each with our own special traits and purpose. Just like a fingerprint, each person is unique and irreplaceable, crafted with care and purpose. The cloud or cloth attempting to erase the fingerprint symbolizes the challenges, trials and pressures we face in life. However, these trials don’t diminish us; they serve to reveal and enhance our true worth, much like a diamond formed under pressure. These pressures, much like the natural process that forms diamonds, serve to reveal and refine our true strengths. The transformation of the fingerprint into a diamond suggests that, rather than erasing our identity, adversity can highlight and enhance our most precious qualities.The diamond becoming brighter under pressure signifies that the more we endure and overcome, the more our inner beauty and value shine forth. The brighter shine of the diamond with each attempt to remove the fingerprint reflects the idea that adversity can bring out the best in us, highlighting our strength and the precious nature of our individuality. It’s a powerful metaphor for personal growth and the treasure that lies within each of us, becoming more apparent through life’s trials.In essence, this vision could be interpreted as a reminder that we are all unique treasures, capable of withstanding great pressure and emerging stronger and more brilliant because of it. In essence, this vision is a reminder that we are all valuable treasures, becoming ever more radiant through the trials we overcome. It’s a powerful message of hope and encouragement, emphasizing that our struggles can lead to growth and a greater appreciation of our unique qualities. 🌟 It’s an encouragement to remain faithful and steadfast, knowing that our true worth will always shine through. 🕊️✨

In 1989 shortly after being born again I had a nightmare that would haunt me for decades.    I dreamt I was standing on a rock & the earth was cracking open all around me. Homes would break & huge portions would fall down into the abyss, leving a wave of destruction everywhere. As far as my eyes could see people were scattered & being separated by the earth cracking between them.    Then suddenly, I woke up in a cold sweat to a loud audible voice saying: " JY MOET AANHOU BID!" (You must continue to pray!"  I've had so many nightmares during my life but for this one stuck with me & l've often wondered what was up with that but now I believe that it was God's warning to prepare for the turmoil & division in families & churches that we've recently experienced. Sadly, the displacement & trauma this division has left in it's wake will haunt us for generations to come.

At B-School January 2022 I dealt with displacement trauma that was severely triggered by being shut out of church with the discrimination & apartheid of vaccine passports. By the time I stopped counting at 18, we had moved 30 times & when we visited my family in Germany after 34 years, my uncles showed us 4 homes we lived in before we moved to South Africa at 5. I was in 9 primary & 3 high schools. By the time I was 6 I stopped trying to break into the groups because I had decided relationships don't last & spent the rest of my time at school a loner & remained an "outsider", never fitting in anywhere. Displacement Trauma = Transplant shock. So much energy goes into trying to get established again after every move. Not rooted & grounded in love Inability to make deep & lasting friendships Not connected to extended family Country changes. No time to re-establish before being moved I also discovered that those all those very noble causes I spent my life doing, church, choir & serving, were in fact, false refuges. Yes, I discovered the motive of my heart for doing all those things was a need to be needed & I was medicating my pain, not with alcohol, addictions, or other ugly habits, but with religion, serving & being a martyr to satisfy my need to be accepted & acknowledged. My sense of self-worth was wrapped up in serving others instead of my identity in Christ. Parental inversion is not an easy sin to hate. The difficulty is that it has become for many the most noble definition of life; the sacrifice & service it involves are readily justified by Scripture. But God asks us to lay down our lives for others for His sake, rather than out of the impure motives of our wounded hearts. The problem is not what we are doing but WHY. I spent my life denying, minimising & hiding my pain. You know that LIE that all is well & I am FINE whilst internally falling apart, I've lived it for as long as I can remember. My fine meant Freaking Out - Insecure - Neurotic - Emotional. About 6 years ago, Clive cottoned on to my FINE meaning something different & would ask my fine or your fine? I also learnt that just like we clearly inherit blessings passed down from our forefathers, trouble passes from generation to generation & it was up to me to break the pattern of generational sin/trauma in my family. Children don't learn what we teach, but what they LIVE. If they live with love & acceptance, they become loving & accepting but if they live with abuse & neglect, they learn to hate themselves. We are all products of our environment & our responses to it. Too often we are the casualties of our parents’ unresolved trauma. There's a pattern of alcohol abuse, violence & divorce in both my parent's families. Even though, Jesus took upon Himself the sins of humanity in Gethsemany - past, present & future; our healing still requires confession, forgiveness & repentance. It 'runs in the family" until someone decides to put a stop to it. I had to draw the proverbial line in the sand, repent & ask for forgiveness on behalf of previous generations so future generations can be set free from the curse Whatever we don’t bring to effective death at the cross will carry over to our children & their children with increase... Like much of our walk with God, being freed from generational sin is a process.

For more than 3 decades, whenever I questioned my purpose, this scripture & song would pop into my head. However, due to my own brokenness, I've carried the added guilt & shame of not acting upon what's been on my heart until my path crossed with Elijah House Prayer Ministries 2 years ago. I have since experienced phenomenal restoration & broken down many strongholds. BUT God is not finished with me yet.

When Kevin prayed over me at B-School, his words painted a vision that felt both beautiful and weighty. Father, thank You for Trixi & thank You for the journey she's given such expression to. I see railway tracks, & I just believe that the Lord is untethering you from things that have held you. You've got such potential & a particular, clear path. I see mountains & I see forests. I see you riding through the open plains, & along the ocean sides. You're a train & the Word of the Lord is that He's the engine & He's got you in there but you're the train & you're carrying many people with you — all along are the carriages. That’s such a powerful prophetic image — a visual of motion, purpose, and divine companionship. The train in my painting, journeying through mountains, forests, and alongside the water, beautifully mirrors Kevin’s word: the Lord as the Engine — the driving force — while I, as the train, carry many hearts along a path only He could design. As I reflect on his words, could there still be unresolved areas of wounding or unbelieving parts of my heart keeping me stuck? 🤔 That’s such a holy and honest question. Often, when we sense delay or resistance on the journey, it’s not punishment or failure — it’s invitation. The Lord gently reveals areas that need His healing touch, not to shame us, but to free us for greater movement. Sometimes the “stuckness” isn’t about what’s wrong, but about what’s ready to be redeemed. The landscape in this painting tells its own story: the mountains represent past obstacles and triumphs, the forest speaks of mystery and growth, the open plains of freedom, and the ocean of depth and vastness. Each terrain carries a story — and sometimes the train slows down not because the Engine isn’t powerful, but because the terrain requires care. Maybe there are tunnels being cleared, tracks being straightened, or carriages being reconnected. 📖 “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” — Psalm 139:23–24 (NIV) When I invite the Holy Spirit to illuminate those “unbelieving” or wounded parts, He never condemns — He heals. The Lord delights in my willingness to look within; it’s evidence that I’m already being untethered from what once held me. 💡 Reflection: • What “carriage” in your life might need reconnection or repair for the journey ahead? 🤔 • Where might your heart still be protecting itself from disappointment or loss, instead of trusting God’s timing? 🤔 • How is the Lord inviting you to see your waiting not as delay, but as preparation? 🤔 🎺 Affirmation: I am being untethered from old wounds and false beliefs. The Lord, my Engine, is faithful to carry me forward. My story is not stuck — it is in motion, being written by grace. 🙌 Prayer: Father, thank You that You are the Engine of my life — the One who knows every mountain, forest, and sea I will cross. Where there are still unhealed places in my heart, meet me with Your kindness. Where unbelief lingers, replace it with faith. Help me trust the pace and direction of Your journey for me. May every carriage I carry — every person, purpose, and promise — move in harmony with Your Spirit. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

The moment Ofelia began to speak to me at my Elijah House B-School graduation, it felt like heaven leaned in. She described a downpour, not of storm or sorrow, but of healing. Gentle rain — the kind that kisses dry earth and awakens buried seeds — began to fall over me in her vision. Every word she spoke felt like a washing, a quiet confirmation from the Father's heart: "The drought is finished."

I just heard the word: Wonder, Sandee said to me at my Elijah House B-School graduation. Simple. Weighty. Like a feather falling gently from heaven — seemingly light, yet saturated with glory. Sandee didn’t elaborate much that day, and honestly, she didn’t need to. The Holy Spirit etched that one word into my spirit like a golden thread woven through the fabric of my journey. Wonder...

There’s a moment in every healing journey when you realise the train is no longer tied to the station. The tethers of your past — shame, fear, and heartbreak — begin to loosen, and the whistle of heaven calls you forward. Kevin’s word of knowledge to me at my Elijah House B-School graduation was such a moment. It painted a picture I can still see with my spirit's eye: railway tracks stretching across God-breathed landscapes. Mountains that once loomed with impossibility now echo with promise. Forests once dense with confusion now whisper clarity. The open plains and ocean sides… oh, how they speak of freedom.

I've pulled through my hardest trigger season yet & am still standing because God added some awesome people to my life in the last few weeks. Being able to go to church in-person for the last 3 weeks, has also made a huge difference. There's a very good reason why Scripture teaches us not to neglect the gathering of the saints. We are so much stronger TOGETHER. There's joy in the house of the Lord. Today I celebrate 3 years walking in victory. A few weeks ago I seriously thought I wasn't going to make it this time BUT once again God has intervened. I woke up on old year's eve & just felt different. I can't really explain it but was as if the feelings of overwhelm, heaviness & displacement of the last 4 months had just been "switched off" overnight. Our home group leader's wife said on Thursday that she could see a difference since we started attending on 12 December but then again these 6 weeks of weekly worship, Scripture discussions & fellowship have been instrumental in this breakthrough. Being loved back to life only happens in the context of living & being able to serve each other in a community. What the enemy meant for evil God has once again used for good.

📖 “He has sent Me to heal the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives…” — Isaiah 61:1 (NKJV) 2021 was a year of holy unravelling. What began as confusion and grief slowly became the sacred ground where I discovered the heart of God again — not in the noise of religion or politics, but in the stillness of His presence. A Year that Tested Love and Conviction The months of restriction and division tore deep into my spirit. Watching families, churches, and communities fracture over “passports” and fear reopened the wounds of my past — the generational shame of the Holocaust, the trauma of apartheid, and the sting of rejection I thought long healed. It was as if the injustices of history were repeating themselves under a different name. My heart wept for those being excluded, for churches turning people away when Jesus had said, “Come unto Me, ALL…” (Matthew 11:28). I felt the weight of silence — the same silence that once allowed evil to thrive. That grief found voice in pieces like “A Stand Against Division” and “Silence in the Face of Evil.” Yet even there, the Holy Spirit reminded me that obedience to truth is an act of love. Visions, Paintings, and the Language of Healing Through art, the Lord became my counsellor. Paintings such as “Power in the Blood of Jesus”, “Anointed to Heal the Brokenhearted,” and “The Cry Beneath the Colours” became my prayers in paint — expressions of intercession, lament, and redemption. In “A New Song in My Soul,” Jesus showed me a vision of a scratched CD being replaced — a picture of Him freeing me from the repetitive lies of unworthiness and shame. In “Take a Leap of Faith,” the skydiver became a symbol of trust — a reminder that courage isn’t the absence of fear but the willingness to jump into the unknown held by His grace. Each artwork, from “Knit Together with Love” to “Finding Refuge in the Cave,” was another step in healing — a kintsugi of the soul. Through broken pottery and flowing water, gold and crimson hues, I rediscovered that beauty is born through surrender. When Faith Became Personal Again 2021 stripped away the structures that once defined “church” and brought me face to face with Jesus Himself — the One who never turns anyone away. In my isolation, I found intimacy. In my tears, I heard His whisper: “Give Me your old song, and I will give you a new one.” Through online Healing Rooms, divine friendships, and the faithful prayers of intercessors, I began to taste freedom again. Anger turned to compassion. Division birthed intercession. What the enemy meant for evil, God truly began to use for good — turning the curse into a blessing (Nehemiah 13:2, Romans 8:28). Redeemed Time and Restored Purpose The Lord redeemed time in surprising ways — reconnecting me with spiritual parents I hadn’t spoken to in decades, stirring memories of grace that had lain dormant, and reminding me that none of my pain was wasted. Conversations with Oom Leon and words from those who saw me as a “beloved royal daughter” rekindled courage to keep standing for truth with love. In every painting, every tear, every journal entry, the refrain of the year echoed: “He makes all things new.” A Prayer for the Year Ahead Lord Jesus, Thank You for holding me when everything around me shook. Thank You for using brokenness as the brushstroke of Your glory. Teach me to carry truth with tenderness, conviction with compassion, and faith without fear. Let my art, words, and life become vessels of Your healing love to a world in need. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. 💡Reflection: 2021 will always be remembered as the year my heart broke — and began to heal. The year when silence became a song, pain became paint, and wounds became wells of living water. Through every fracture, the golden thread of grace held me fast. Because Jesus never wastes suffering. He turns curses into blessings, ashes into beauty, and division into deeper dependence on Him.

After messaging an intercessor friend over my massive heart-break with the church we called home, implementing CV passports & thus condoning exclusion, discrimination, apartheid & segregation, she set me up with a Healing rooms prayer meeting via zoom. The session started with each of the intercessors sharing a word of wisdom they had received during prayer before I entered the room.  This was the 2nd intercessor's vision: I see a very old style CD Player, stuck in a groove, it keeps repeating. Then I see Jesus saying: "give it to me and I'll give you a new CD." You've been hearing & listening to the same old lies over & over. It's time to bring those lies to Jesus so He can replace them with God's Truth. With the manipulation, coercion & blackmail  for 💉 I was triggered back into the trauma & shame of the generational curse from the holocaust based on my birth in Germany as well as the blame & shame caused by apartheid in South Africa where I was raised. I had carried blame & shame that wasn't mine to carry, all my life & it was time to bring it to the cross.  I heard: "It's all your fault." but truth is, I had nothing to do with either of these incidences. The blame & shame is not mine to carry. I'm not responsible.  Having stood up against the injustice of apartheid & discrimination all my life, I ain't stopping now.

After messaging an intercessor friend over my massive heart-break with the church we called home, implementing CV passports & thus condoning exclusion, discrimination, apartheid & segregation, she set me up with a Healing rooms prayer meeting via zoom. The session started with each of the intercessors sharing a word of wisdom they had received during prayer before I entered the room.  This was the 1st vision Heaviness, some physical problem manifested in the spiritual realm that is holding on to something, anger or unforgiveness. Spring water is pouring out onto this person spiritual cleansing that will bring healing and joy. What the enemy meant for evil God is using for good... In Nehemiah 13, we read of Nehemiah’s final reforms. They read from the ‘Book of Moses’ (v.1) how ‘Our God… turned the curse into a blessing’ (v.2). This is the pattern throughout the Bible. ‘In all things God works for the good of those who love him’ (Romans 8:28). What you are facing in your life right now may seem like a curse – a health issue, a battle in a relationship, a difficult boss, or whatever. It may seem like a curse but God can turn the curse into a blessing.

After messaging an intercessor friend over my massive heart-break with the church we called home, implementing CV passports & thus condoning exclusion, discrimination, apartheid & segregation, she set me up with a Healing rooms prayer meeting via zoom. The session started with each of the intercessors sharing a word of wisdom they had received during prayer before I entered the room.  This was the 3nd intercessor's vision: I see a  skydiver jumping out of an airplane, speaks to me of this person  needing to take a leap of faith, trusting in the Lord. 2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

A quick digital painting based on a vision received from a prayer partner on on of our Tuesday morning prayer meetings a couple of months ago. When life seems uphill & you're wondering how much further you can go, look back & see how far you've already come.

"This is how I felt after the reality of this morning's announcement hit home. Medical apartheid is officially being rung in by our authorities. My heart aches for the injustices millions are suffering at the hands of our ""single source of truth"" authorities tyrannical measures to force an experimental 💉 on the whole nation. I stand for God-given freedom of CHOICE. We're effectively being held hostage until 90% 💉 is reached😡🤯💔 BUT God... nothing can separate me from His love." Psalm 42:5 "Why art thou cast down, O my soul? And why art thou disquieted in me? Hope thou in God: For I shall yet praise him For the help of his countenance."

Ezekiel 11:19 KJV And I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within you; and I will take the stony heart out of their flesh, and will give them an heart of flesh: Well over 3 decades ago I received this scripture as part of a prophesy by an American preacher who was visiting our church. At the time I thought it was related to the promise included in his prophesy that God would restore my family & He would turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers Malachi 4:6 KJV However, recently I realised that word was for me... I have a heart of stone resulting from decades of self protection... By the time I was 6, we had already moved at least 4 times & when we migrated to South Africa I lost everyone I knew. Many more moves & being the "new kid" in class for 12 different schools followed. With only snail mail available back then all connections were lost so I decided not to make friends, because friendships don't last. I built walls around my heart, hardened my heart, disconnected & shut people out. The heart of stone is formed as a protection & is by nature private. Healing it cannot be done alone. It needs to be resurrected. It is not melted by authority, but rather by the love of Jesus. We must be ambassadors of that love. We cannot heal the heart of stone by ourselves. We need people to journey with us. The heart of stone must be loved back to life by God THROUGH His people. It must be healed corporately, by the Body of Christ. The process of healing is apt to be slow/progressive, like peeling an onion. People help bring hearts to life. Appropriate & intentional touching & hugging is required. Loving prayers spoken to reach the heart of the inner child. Truthful friends Practice confession of sins & weaknesses. Help build loving support through family, church & small groups. Honour the heart. Put in new ways of protection. Guarding your heart in the RIGHT way is turning to God. And herein now lies my purpose: being an ambassador for Christ & loving people back to life.