For the past year or so at home, in my Elijah house encounter groups, as well as on the job lately, I have had to make intentional efforts to be vulnerable and allow space for intimacy (in-to-me-see) in order to build relationships.

As a recovering burden bearer who still struggles with social anxiety in crowds, I am constantly stretched way outside my comfort zone & rely heavily on God's grace being sufficient for me & His power to be revealed in my weaknesses.

I still find it hard to keep my heart open at the risk of being rejected and abandoned.

I have so often asked the Lord why He asked me to start these groups because like Moses I still stumble over my words & feel ill-equipped. However, I have learnt, over the past few years, that when God asks me to do something & I'm afraid, to do it afraid. Courage & confidence follows obedience.

On Tuesday we were doing site inspections for conference venues. The biggest events I've ever organised are my wedding & our 30th anniversary celebrations. Organising an event for 250 attendees seems daunting at best. To say I was nervous would be an understatement. I was petrified & very much tempted to resort to my old ways of pushing it down with work.

Today Elias reminded me that everything I ever wanted is on the other side of fear. After all, God has not given me a spirit of fear but of love, power and a sound mind.