Thank You, Jesus, for coming to heal the broken-hearted 💔 and to bind up their wounds. Your presence brings solace to those of us who feel shattered, offering a promise of restoration where despair once reigned. My journey has been profoundly shaped by a tapestry woven with threads of pain — echoes of emotional neglect threaded through my earliest memories, accompanied by the sharp sting of relentless criticism, the confusion brought on by displacement trauma, and the heavy burden of betrayal, rejection, and abandonment at the hands of various carers and authority figures. Yet, among these scars, the deepest wound cuts through my soul like a silent knife were my brother’s silence. Thirty long years of estrangement, caused by a web of lies, have left an ache that words can scarcely capture. That unspoken rift turned into a quiet torment, a constant reminder of what I'd lost amidst the storms I had to weather, until the day he finally reached out to reconcile. Those of us who are loyal often take things to heart. We invest ourselves wholeheartedly, and our commitment runs deep. My loyalty is steadfast, and I love without reservation. When people dismiss me, I find myself continuing to love from a distance. It’s simply who I am; writing off those who treat me unkindly is not in my nature. That’s why being ignored or overlooked by those I hold dear cuts particularly deep. Time and again, You’ve stooped down to gather the fragmented pieces of my heart, piecing them together with a tenderness I scarcely understand. Your grace has been my refuge, a balm for wounds both old and raw. And yet, even now, there are moments when the smallest things — an unanswered text, a fleeting silence — can feel like daggers piercing my heart. Such triggers resurrect the familiar spectres of rejection and abandonment, tugging at the fragile seams of my healing. It’s a reminder of how deep those wounds run, but also of how desperately I need Your continued touch to mend what remains broken. Lord, my heart 💔 aches. Would You come and bring Your peace and healing?

My heart aches every time I hear someone say: "I can't sing!" "I can't dance!" "I can't draw!" "I can't paint!" "I can't write!" "I can't speak!" "I'm not creative!" You see, I, too, had buried my fear of failure and rejection under this mountain of LIES until the Lord took me on a journey of profound healing, restoration, and transformation. Creativity has always been a part of who I am, but it took years for me to fully embrace it. In I'm Creative, I share my journey of rediscovering the artistic spark that had been buried under the weight of life’s responsibilities. From childhood sketches to mixed-media explorations, this is the story of how I found my way back to creativity—and how it became a powerful expression of faith, healing, and joy.

The words 'I AM...' carry immense significance in shaping our identities and perceptions. Uncover the truth behind your self-statements and their impact on your personal & professional journey I have learned to be mindful of what I attach to "I am..." in my statements.   Some of the most deeply ingrained lies we believe about ourselves are hidden within these very words.   "I AM..." is a declaration of identity—yet, all too often, we confuse our temporary emotions with who we truly are.   When we say, "I am angry, anxious, sad, sick, tired, depressed," we are unconsciously reinforcing the idea that these emotions define us. We are speaking negativity over ourselves, and over time, our bodies will manifest more of these burdens.   But there is another way.   By reframing our statements, we empower ourselves to separate our identity from our emotions. We acknowledge them for what they are—passing experiences. Saying "I feel angry, anxious, or sad" validates the emotion without allowing it to take root in our identity.   This small but powerful shift creates space for healing and growth. It helps us process our emotions while keeping our true selves intact.   Emotions are transient; they ebb and flow like the tide—they are not permanent, and they do not define us. By recognising this, we cultivate resilience, a healthier mindset, a more positive outlook on life and a greater capacity for growth.   So let’s be intentional with our words. Instead of "I am...", let’s embrace the life-giving phrase, "I feel...".   It’s a simple change, but one that can  lead to profound transformation in the way we see ourselves and navigate life’s challenges.   REMEMBER: You are not your emotions. You are so much more than that —strong, ever-evolving, and full of possibility. You are capable of navigating through life's ups and downs with grace and strength.   I'm talking to the coir as I write this. Over the past 5 years, I've confessed and repented of many foundational lies.. I'm worthless I'm not good enough I'm ill-equipped I'm stupid I'm unloved I'm unwanted I'm not creative … to name just a few…   The truth is, that when God created the earth and everything on it, He said: "It is good", but after God created Adam and Eve, He said: "It is very good" (Genesis 1:31). We are beautifully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). He loves us with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). We are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so we would walk in them  (Ephesians 2:10). He has already given us ALL we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3).   What lies have you come to believe about yourself that you need to bring to death at the cross today?🤔

In the Maxwell Growth Plan coaching John Maxwell teaches to grow yourself, you must know yourself. Well, if you asked me "Who are You" a couple of weeks ago, I would have told you I don't know. In all my life's people pleasing I had forgotten WHO I am so this journey of self-awareness as part of the course is quite difficult for me. What I've realised whilst doing this is part of the reason I've been struggling with depression all my life is the fact that I had many expectations and inner vows preventing me from being who I was created to be. I spent my life trying to be who I perceived others wanted me to be and therefore undermining my integrity & causing a constant inner turmoil, guilt & shame for being "fake" and feeling like an imposter. I discovered that my belief that I can't be trusted is rooted in my lack of integrity towards myself. Over the years I've signed up for so many courses & activities I had planned to do to enhance my potential but then I would sacrifice that on the altar of someone else's needs being more important than mine.

God has so graciously redeemed my birthday and as I pause to reflect on the journey I’ve travelled – the mountains I’ve climbed and the valleys I’ve navigated – I see every reason to celebrate. First of all, thank you. Each of you has contributed to my story, creating a safe space for me to heal. I wouldn’t be standing here today without your love bringing me back to life. This year has been extraordinary — marked by growth, breakthroughs, and deep healing. It was a season when I stepped into spaces I once thought were impossible. This hasn’t been a path I’ve walked alone, and my heart overflows with gratitude for those who have stood by me, encouraged me, and lifted me along the way.

These make-shift flags have been waiting for me to make them permanent since we got back from our anniversary holiday early November last year. By sewing my flags, I am reclaiming control of my life and making a concerted effort to revitalise the colour and vitality that has been absent. It is high time these beauties were utilised to proclaim God's glory and colour in my life. This year, I am determined to shift from survival & procrastination mode to growth and thriving. Watch this space become 202(5)THRIVE. As Marc Bredenkamp used to say decades ago: "I see you somewhere in the future & you look much better than you look right now!"

With last week's office reshuffle and the little writing desk being gifted, it neccetated me working through this basket filled with paperwork to see what could be shredded and what needed filing. My ability to organise things broke when I broke 💔, and that’s one area I haven’t been able to restore yet. The mere thought of the amount of stuff I've let slide home in that time has been overwhelming, keeping me in procrastination and stopping me from doing anything about it. But this afternoon, when I got home from the office, I decided that this little mountain would be conquered today so I could check it off my list of procrastination items. In the process, I stumbled across a few thank-you cards from my Encounter groups at the end of 2023... ... one of them contained $60... what a lovely surprise 😮 And then there was this little gem... My heart still skips a beat every time I see this little munchkin... Although not by blood, for 18 months, I had the incredible privilege of being his Oma, and their departure has left a void in my heart, but in my heart, Sean will always be my grandson... I must confess, I still often wonder how he is & whether he's happy & healthy, but I no longer suppress and deny those thoughts & feelings, and they no longer bring me to tears. I pray the Lord will protect him & keep him safe. Then there was this giant surprise... For someone who thought she was worthless, stupid, not good enough, etc., doing a 3-month graphic design course when I was at rock-bottom and then achieving this is no small feat... I don't even remember seeing this report back then, but I can't help but wonder how the heck did I accomplish this?🤔 Clive remembered it when I showed him and said he was as surprised I continued going and finished the course as he was with the grades. I was blown away when I saw this and even more flabbergasted that I hadn't even filed it with my certificates... There's one of those glimpses of gold & diamonds Elias saw in me, and I guess my friend Zoë was right after all when she called me her "brainy" girl.

Last month, I invested in an online course to help uproot my self-limiting beliefs. (Apparently, the Lord isn’t done nudging me to invest in myself yet...) This morning, I woke at 2:45 to attend the first of six live events, running from 3 to 7 am every Monday for the next six weeks. Believe me, the temptation to roll over and go back to sleep was immense. But having told Clive about it last night, I felt compelled to honour my word. Oh boy—what was I thinking? In a quiet, reflective moment, I connected the dots between my lack of self-trust and the deeply ingrained belief that “I can’t be trusted.” I realised, with painful clarity, how many times I’ve let myself down over the years by not following through on commitments I’ve made to myself. I’ve always honoured my word and promises to others, yet when it comes to me, I’ve always failed miserably. A little later, after feeding my friend’s cat, I spontaneously found myself heading down to the beach, completely overwhelmed. There I stood, momentarily consumed by regret, chastising myself for decades of self-sabotage and procrastination that's caused dreams and aspirations to be crushed. The weight of what being stuck in fear has cost me—and by extension, those within my sphere of influence—was crushing. But then, I could almost hear Elias's voice in my head saying, “Stop it! or I’ll bury you in a box 📦.” (It’s been a while since that familiar threat reared its head—clearly, I haven’t bullied myself much at the office lately.) Yet, in the midst of it all, something shifted. After many tears, heartfelt prayer, and repentance right there in the water, I felt a glimmer of lightness and hope. I’m ready to keep going and catch up on the personal growth I’ve let slip through my fingers. How thankful I am that the Lord can redeem the time, turn my mess into a message, and transform this mountain into yet another story that brings Him glory. How grateful I am for His comforting presence and that the Lord can redeem the time, turn my mess into a message, and transform this mountain into another story of His glory. I'm also grateful for Ester who, during our call later, promptly reminded me how far I've come to pick myself up in a matter of minutes, which used to take days & weeks before. I must admit, I find it interesting 🤔 something so significant always pops up within 3 weeks of scheduled serving at an Elijah House school.

As I look back over the year that was 2024, I see a mosaic of moments — tender, stretching, healing, holy. It was a year marked by movement — not always visible to the eye, but deeply felt in the unseen spaces of the heart. Faith has been my compass through it all. Each decision, conversation, and creative endeavour found its root in the quiet assurance that God was present, weaving even the painful threads into something redemptive. 📖 "He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ." — Philippians 1:6 (NKJV) Faith & Spirituality — The Anchor of My Becoming This year, I learned again that faith is not the absence of uncertainty but the steady heartbeat of trust in the middle of it. Through the Encounter Groups, Healing Trauma series, and creative gatherings, the Holy Spirit reminded me that transformation is slow, sacred work. There were moments when my faith felt stretched thin — yet grace never failed to find me there. Each session held at The Crate, each prayer whispered over those who came searching for healing, became another stone laid on the altar of God’s faithfulness. Love & Compassion — The Language of My Heart Love, I realised, is often quiet. It looks like showing up when you’re tired, listening when you’d rather speak, and forgiving when words have wounded. It’s the pulse beneath every encounter, the invisible thread that binds broken hearts back together. This year taught me that compassion begins at home — within my own heart. Healing cannot flow outward if I refuse to let it begin inward. Family & Relationships — The Circle of Grace Through both the tender and testing moments with Clive, Jesse, and Misha, I saw the Lord refining my understanding of what love truly requires: patience, humility, and forgiveness. Conversations that once carried tension became opportunities for healing. Even unspoken prayers found gentle answers in time. My family remains my first ministry — the living canvas where God’s grace keeps writing new beginnings. Community & Service — The Hands and Feet of Faith From Creative Connect Groups to Healing heARTs💖 gatherings, community became the rhythm of my ministry. These moments were not about numbers but about hearts — each one precious, each one a testimony of God’s ongoing restoration. The Identity & Destiny series opened doors for others to rediscover purpose, while the Mandarin Healing Trauma sessions reminded me that language is no barrier when the Holy Spirit leads. Service became less about doing and more about being — simply being present, compassionate, and faithful. 📖 "Let all that you do be done with love." — 1 Corinthians 16:14 (NKJV) Creativity — The Overflow of the Soul My brushes carried more than paint this year; they carried prayer. From “Skyward Bloom” (#1270_20250606) to the gentle hues of each new piece in my portfolio, every artwork became a conversation with God. Through colour, texture, and light, I found healing in the act of creation — beauty rising from the ashes once again. The studio became a sanctuary — a space where heaven touched earth through art, worship, and honest reflection. Growth & Learning — The Journey of Becoming 2024 stretched me as a leader, facilitator, and creative soul. From the Speakers Institute Bootcamp to Live2Lead Auckland, each experience deepened my confidence and refined my voice. I learned to hold space for others without losing myself — to lead with humility and authenticity. Growth this year meant choosing to stay teachable, to rest when needed, and to trust God’s timing over my own. Integrity, Courage, and Freedom — Living Authentically in Truth I found courage not in grand gestures but in quiet obedience. Saying yes to God’s invitations — and sometimes no to distractions — was its own act of faith. Integrity guided each step as I navigated leadership, ministry, and creativity. Freedom came, not as escape, but as alignment — living true to who God designed me to be. 📖 "Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." — 2 Corinthians 3:17 (NKJV) Balance, Rest & Wellness — The Sacred Pause There were seasons when rest felt like rebellion — yet the Lord gently reminded me that rest is worship. My health became a mirror of balance restored: long walks, quiet evenings, laughter with friends, and time in the Word replenished my spirit. Balance isn’t perfection; it’s breathing in grace and exhaling gratitude. Beauty & Achievement — Redefining Success Beauty became a language of gratitude this year. I learned to see it in ordinary things — morning light on wet pavement, the sound of laughter, the shimmer of gold in broken pottery. Achievement, for me, no longer meant doing more but becoming more like Christ in the process. Success was measured not in accolades but in peace, in purpose, and in people transformed through love. 📖 "The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever." — Psalm 138:8 (NKJV) A Closing Prayer for 2024 Heavenly Father, thank You for every joy and every tear that shaped this year. Thank You for the quiet miracles that unfolded when I least expected them. As I close this chapter, may I carry forward only what is holy, healed, and true. Teach me to walk into 2025 with renewed faith, anchored in Your love, guided by Your Spirit, and strengthened by Your peace. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. Final Reflection This year was not about arrival but alignment — about becoming whole, not by striving, but by surrendering. Every broken piece was gathered by grace, every detour redeemed by love. I end this year not with exhaustion, but with expectancy — ready to step into all that God is still unfolding.

When I find myself struggling with feelings of incompetence, I place a hand over my heart and remind myself that this, too, is sacred ground. Struggle isn’t a sign that I am failing; it’s a whisper that I am growing. Often, it means I am standing in the second stage of the journey — the place where transformation takes root.

Yet another thought-provoking question has arisen as I continue to work through John Maxwell's 30-Day Growth Plan. I am embracing the power of prayer and reflection as a guiding light on my journey. I will intentionally align my actions with my values of love,  kindness, compassion and generosity, forging a meaningful and authentic path to my identity. I will immerse myself fully in the creative process, allowing it to inspire and renew me. I am committed to personal growth and self-care. I will dedicate time to reflect deeply and better understand myself. Staying true to my authentic self, I will foster positive connections based on love, respect, and generosity. My dedication to growth extends beyond myself as I  nurture my relationships with care. I will set clear intentions to recognise and uproot limiting beliefs, learn to master communication skills and take the time to reflect on my progress, celebrating the milestones along the way. By thoughtfully planning the next steps in both my personal and professional growth, I will navigate my path with purpose, clarity, and grace. Each step forward will reflect the life I am building — rooted in love, kindness, generosity, creativity, and a commitment to becoming who God has created me to be.

How often do we walk around with our "F.I.N.E." masks on? I know I did that all my life. I mastered the art of looking fine on the outside while feeling anything but on the inside. F.I.N.E. was just a cover for me—Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. It was a performance, a way of keeping people at arm's length, and, if I’m honest, a way of keeping God at arm's length too. From a very young age, I had been disappointed and hurt by people so many times that I vowed not to be vulnerable to protect my heart. I hardened my heart to relationships because I had decided that good things don't last. But here's the thing about masks: they might protect us for a moment but also isolate us. They make it impossible for others to see our real needs and even harder for us to receive the healing and help we desperately crave. I was reminded of this while watching an interview between Simon Sinek and Trevor Noah. Simon said something profound: "Trust is not built by offering help. Trust is  built by asking for help." Think about that. Asking for help isn’t a weakness—it’s the foundation of trust. One of my hardest lessons has been learning to be vulnerable about sharing current struggles, not just testimonies. When I let my guard down and allowed the tears to flow and members to pray for me during group sessions, the dynamics of our group changed. Stepping into that space has allowed incredible things to unfold—not just in my life but in the lives of others. In my groups, attendees have become more open, willing to share their stories, and brave enough to ask for prayer. It’s been a powerful reminder of how God works through community and connection. Vulnerability is powerful because it leads to intimacy. When we let someone truly see us—in-to-me-see, we open the door to a deeper connection. Whether with God or others, vulnerability is the bridge that invites healing, trust, and love into our lives. What if that same principle applies to our relationship with God? What if the healing we seek begins with a simple act of vulnerability—acknowledging our pain, our fears, and our brokenness? What if the mask is the very thing keeping us from God's healing hand? God won't heal what we won't acknowledge. Take off the mask. Let God and others in-to-you-see. Acknowledge what's real. That’s where healing and growth begin. That’s where trust grows. And that’s where intimacy flourishes. Trust Him enough to take off the mask. Acknowledge what’s real. That’s where the healing begins.

Earlier this week, Pastor David asked me to share a short testimony at the volunteer dinner this Sunday evening. I've had so many roller-coaster moments this year that there's just no way I can fit them into a 3-minute speech, but for what it's worth, here’s what I came up with: First of all, thank you to all for contributing to my story. I wouldn't be here today without you loving me back to life since we came here three years ago after being displaced by vaccine passports. This year has been a remarkable season of growth, breakthroughs, and healing. It began in January when I confronted my foundational lie that I had to earn my keep. God opened doors for new opportunities through a part-time job, which became the catalyst for healing unresolved leadership and work-related trauma. I finally broke free from being stuck between the fears of success and failure. It’s been a year of testing and pruning, but God’s faithfulness has been evident every step of the way. One of the hardest lessons for me has been learning to be vulnerable about sharing current struggles, not just testimonies. Stepping into that space has allowed incredible things to unfold—not just in my life but in the lives of others. In our groups, attendees have become more open, willing to share their stories, and brave enough to ask for prayer. It’s been a powerful reminder of how God works through community and connection. Our most remarkable story is that of Capri sharing how much Tala, her father, has changed since they joined the group and how they now use the Healing Trauma workbook in family discussions. It has greatly inspired me to keep the groups going. Some of the youngsters in our group asked to restart the series after three lessons to get their friends to join. This led to a 12-week series for 12 young adults starting in April. Watching this younger generation lean into God’s healing and restoration has been profoundly inspiring. Larry has added Mandarin subtitles to my Healing Trauma videos, creating a space for 5 Chinese ladies to experience the series. Through all of this, I’ve been overwhelmed by God’s faithfulness. For decades, I had struggled with depression—a lifelong battle that felt impossible to overcome. But this year has been a celebration of the freedom and healing only God can bring, and for the first time in my life, I haven't had a "Trigger Season". He’s taken the broken pieces of my life and turned them into something beautiful—bringing hope where there was despair and joy where there was heaviness. Looking back, I see how God has restored not only my mind and heart but also my relationships, my purpose, and my vision. Every breakthrough and moment of healing is a testimony to His goodness and love. This journey hasn’t been one I’ve walked alone. I’m deeply grateful to every one of you who has prayed, encouraged, and supported me. Your love has been a reflection of God’s own heart. So today, I want to celebrate—not just my story but the story God is writing in all of us. Let’s give thanks for His goodness and rejoice in the healing and restoration He continues to bring. With God, nothing is impossible, and every step is worth it. I will leave you with these Scriptures I was given by my boss that have become foundational for me: Philippians 4:6 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Ephesians 3:20 20Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Unfortunately, Clive got distracted at the sound desk and forgot to record it so that I could include a video version here.

“The weight of unspoken words is heavier than any burden we carry. It is the weight of things left unsaid, of emotions buried deep, of truths hidden away in the dark corners of our minds. And as that weight grows, it begins to crush us, to suffocate us, until we are no longer able to speak, no longer able to express the things we need to say, the things that could free us from the prison of our own silence.” -Alice Walker

For me, the cracks began to show after my ectopic pregnancy in 1996 — a moment that marked the unraveling of a lifetime of suppressed emotions and 3 more miscarriages after that. At the time, I had no idea I was battling high-functioning depression.  Moving to New Zealand and the challenges that followed only amplified the pressure until, my world came crashing down, and I faced a major breakdown in February 2018. Sometimes, in His boundless mercy, the Lord allows the walls we've built to crumble. He meets us in the wreckage, gently bringing us to the end of ourselves so we can finally see the truth — we are nothing without Him. “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through and it will be someone else's survival guide.” - Brene Brown Our personal experiences hold transformative power, and sharing them can create ripples of hope and resilience in others' lives. Each journey through hardship is uniquely woven, yet the wisdom and strength gained along the way often serve as a light for those navigating similar struggles. When we openly share our stories of overcoming adversity, we do more than reflect on our past—we build a bridge of understanding, a collective strength that helps others find their way. Storytelling is not just about healing ourselves; it’s about empowering others, fostering a community where courage and compassion thrive. Our narratives, born from challenges, can become survival guides and sources of inspiration, serving a purpose far greater than we might imagine. As Revelation 12:11 reminds us: "And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto death." There’s power in testimony. Courage and confidence bloom when we step out in obedience and share the journey God has brought us through. I invite you to join me on this journey of healing and transformation. Sign up to follow my story updates through This Is My Story (List) | Trixi's Creations. Together, let’s build a community bound by hope, faith, and resilience.

I find myself diving deep into a thought-provoking question as I journey through John Maxwell's Growth Plan. It's an exciting and insightful exploration that has me reflecting on my personal growth! I am on a journey towards deeper connection — both with myself and with others. This path calls for intentional inner healing, a courageous process of identifying and uprooting limiting beliefs that have held me back from realising my full potential. I am moving steadily towards transformation and renewal, focusing on personal growth and the importance of self-care as foundations for my progress. I am growing into a life of greater positivity and authenticity, fully committed to my own development while also nurturing and valuing my relationships. I am learning to live in alignment with my true self, cultivating love, compassion, and generosity for those within my sphere of influence. I am setting my sights on meaningful goals that bring me closer to my dreams and aspirations while embracing the discipline to plan ahead with clarity and intention. At the same time, I am taking moments to reflect on what I’ve achieved and to celebrate my successes, no matter how small they may seem. This journey is about becoming—about leaning into growth, embracing renewal, and stepping boldly into the person I am meant to be.

As we navigate this festive season, let's remember to be kind to those around us, for we may never truly know the burdens they carry. For so many, this time of year can be the hardest. The pain of pretending to be joyful when your heart is breaking is something I deeply understand. For me, November to January has historically been a trigger season, since I lost my village to migragion in October at five years old, with that being the first of many displacements that would follow. The ache of that loss has lingered in different ways over the years. Last year, when the weight of it all began to settle in early November, I was blessed to have my Elijah House tribe sister, Wendy, come to visit for a few hours. Together, we began to unravel the deep roots of the pain that stemmed from losing my community at such a young age. We didn’t uncover all the sinful responses in that time, but God has done so much healing and brought so many breakthroughs in the year since.  This year, remarkably, I’ve made it through the trigger season without feeling the familiar heaviness, though I’m still very much aware of those around me who say they’re "fine," but whose eyes tell a different story. Just this past Sunday, I crossed paths with one such person. Since then, I’ve been burden-bearing & praying for her. Sometimes, all we need is someone to see us for who we really are – not just the face we present to the world, but the heart beneath. Love, compassion & kindness really do go a long way.

Recently, I realised the reason why I suck at communication is that I've spent most of my life withdrawn & in my head. Growing up, there were no conversations with Mom and Dad because they were barely home, hence my immense struggle with communication. When my stepdad came on the scene, he always said, "Think before you speak," whenever we had something to say, but somewhere along the line, my brother and I got stuck overthinking. Now, I can have all these wonderful conversations with people in my head after the fact, but when I'm with them, I struggle with awkward silence because I don't remember what I want to say. I seriously need to get unstuck so I can fully step into my purpose and embrace the abundant life Jesus came to give me. I want to master communication skills, not just for myself but also for my community and my jobs. I aim to become fluent in expressing my heart and mind. Last week, I attended a 3-day boot camp for the Maxwell Leadership World Class Communicator coaching and want to share my excitement (& slight apprehension). I realised this was just the training I needed to improve my •  Storytelling skills • 1-on-1 communication skills • 1-on-1 in small groups communication skills & • 1-to-many on-stage communication skills. However, I had just invested all my savings in another course to help me eliminate my limiting beliefs, so I didn't have the finances for this course either. Then, during the Q&A on Friday, I remembered that I had won the Day 1 Homework prize. I mustered up the courage to ask if they'd be willing to swap the iPhone for access to the course, so now I'm all in with coaching starting next week. It also includes access to John Maxwell's 16 Laws of Communication. The next 6 weeks will be a roller-coaster ride as I once again step outside my comfort zone to face the fear of public speaking. What does it mean to be a world-class communicator? A world-class communicator: • Creates deep, meaningful connections, • Speaks with unwavering clarity and conviction, • Sparks transformative action through their words. But their impact goes far beyond the stage— • It's felt in every interaction, • They leave a trail of trust and value wherever they go. For them, communication isn’t just about being heard; it’s about making others feel: • Truly seen, • Fully understood, • Genuinely empowered. As I share this, I'm both excited and apprehensive at the thought of doing this, but I'm looking forward to the challenge so I can add more value to those in my sphere of influence.🎉🎊🥳

Change is never easy, but it’s one of those inevitable forces that shapes us in ways we can’t always predict. Change is difficult, not because we lack the ability, but because our emotions are so convincing. Over the last few months, I’ve come to embrace it, even when it felt uncomfortable, because I’ve learned something important: growth often happens when we step out of what feels familiar. This morning, I spent time packing up Elias’ bookshelves in preparation for his move out of this office at The Crate this weekend. This small act of kindness to add value to Elias has been a bittersweet task. This office has been more than just a workspace for the past eight months — it’s been the heart of my emotional journey of healing workplace-related wounding. From the highs to the lows, I’ve spent countless hours working here alongside Elias on the CCNNZ challenges we inherited from our predecessors. But it wasn’t just about the work. This space became a reflection of the personal transformation I’ve gone through. I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, and I’ve confronted my deepest fears in this room. It’s been messy. It’s been beautiful. But more than anything, it’s been healing. Every challenge and breakthrough has led me closer to understanding my true self. And that’s what change does—it forces us to grow, to face what’s been hidden, and to step into the person we’re meant to be. God knew what He was doing when He set me up with this job I wasn’t seeking. When I resigned from my last job in August 2005, I vowed I would never work in the corporate world again because I had come to expect all bosses to be demanding, mean, and critical, and I would never meet their standards. We need fathers to heal the wounds caused by fathers, teachers to heal the wounds caused by teachers, pastors to heal the wounds caused by pastors, bosses to heal the wounds caused by bosses & leaders to heal the wounds caused by leaders. In this short time, Elias has touched on every one of these areas, from praying with me when I needed someone to hear my confessions to teaching, encouraging, disciplining, and calling forth the person God created me to be. Letting go of this office, letting go of this chapter, is bittersweet. But I know that change brings new opportunities. Sometimes, we don’t see them right away. But when we look back, we realize that the challenging moments were stepping stones that led us to something better. I’m going to have to learn to focus without the structure of an office environment & navigate the distractions. So, here’s to embracing change. It’s messy, it’s hard, but it’s also where transformation begins. 2024 has indeed been a major transition year. Next year, I will focus on investing in my personal growth alongside my ministry and my work for CCNNZ and Nexus Connect. There’s just so much I still need to learn to prepare for my big, hairy, audacious dream. My goal for this next quarter is to save up the funds for the next intake of the World Class Communicator masterclass by Maxwell Leadership. How do you navigate change in your life and work?🤔

As I work through John Maxwell's Growth Plan, I'm finding that I need to dig really deep for some of the answers. It might be easier if I were clearer on the question, "Who am I?" but that's still part of my journey of discovery. For now, I find myself in a peaceful state of reflection and spiritual growth. This is a time when prayer and quiet moments guide me, helping me to embrace the transformative journey ahead. I aim to align my actions with my values of kindness and compassion, which gives a sense of inner peace and contentment. I am deeply engaged in a creative journey that involves exploring the vibrant textures of acrylic painting and the reflective practice of creative journaling. This experience allows me to express my inner world, find joy in the process, and nurture my creative spirit. Each brushstroke and journal entry represents a step toward deeper self-discovery. I am currently in a positive and authentic phase of my life, dedicated to personal growth and strengthening my relationships. This journey focuses on staying true to myself, nurturing love and generosity, and continuously striving to become the best version of myself. It is a path filled with warmth and genuine connections. At this time, I find myself at a crossroads, assessing my goals and aspirations. This time is dedicated to setting new intentions, reflecting on my accomplishments, and planning the next steps in my personal and professional growth. It’s a thoughtful and purposeful journey, guided by clarity and determination. Reflective and Spiritual: “I find myself in a serene space of reflection and spiritual growth. It’s a time where prayer and quiet moments guide me, helping me to embrace the transformative journey ahead. This phase is about aligning my actions with my values of kindness and compassion, creating a sense of inner peace and contentment.” Creative and Artistic: “I’m immersed in a world of creativity, exploring the vibrant textures of acrylic painting and the introspective practice of creative journaling. This journey is about expressing my inner landscape, finding joy in the process, and nurturing my creative spirit. Each brushstroke and journal entry is a step towards deeper self-discovery.” Transformative and Restorative: “I’m in a season of transformation and rest, focusing on personal growth and self-care. This period is dedicated to understanding myself better, nurturing my relationships, and embracing the changes that come with growth. It’s a time of renewal, where rest and reflection pave the way for new beginnings.” Positive and Authentic: “I am in a positive and authentic phase of my life, committed to personal growth and nurturing my connections. This journey is about being true to myself, fostering love and generosity, and continuously striving to be the best version of myself. It’s a path filled with warmth and genuine interactions.” Goal-Oriented and Reflective: “At this moment, I’m at a crossroads, evaluating my goals and aspirations. This time is about setting new intentions, reflecting on my achievements, and planning the next steps in my personal and professional growth. It’s a thoughtful and purposeful journey, guided by clarity and determination.”