When You’re Not Lazy, Just Scared: A Love Letter to the Anxious Procrastinator

I used to think procrastination meant I was broken. Weak-willed. Lazy, even. That’s what the world told me. That if I just had more discipline or better time management, I’d be fine. But that was never the whole truth.

Because underneath my delay wasn’t disinterest. It was dread.

The kind of dread that whispers, What if it’s not good enough? 🤔 What if I fail?  🤔 What if they see right through me?  🤔

The task could be as small as replying to an email or as sacred as starting a painting I’d dreamt of for months — but if fear was in the room, I’d freeze. And then I’d spiral. Shame would wrap itself around me like a weighted blanket, and I’d tell myself, I should’ve started. I should be better than this by now. That inner voice, cruel and familiar, always carried a whip.

But the truth is, anxious procrastination isn’t laziness. It’s protection.

It’s our nervous system trying to keep us safe from perceived threat. It’s the echo of past wounds telling us that doing something wrong — or not perfectly — would cost us something important: approval, belonging, safety, love.

And that’s not something you just “schedule” your way out of.

What Helped Me Begin Again

Healing didn’t start with a planner or a productivity hack. It started with gentleness. Choosing to believe that God wasn’t disappointed in me. That He wasn’t pacing the floor of Heaven waiting for me to hurry up. That maybe — just maybe — He was sitting beside me in the stillness, holding space for my fear.

"Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28, NIV)

I began writing again when I gave myself permission to write badly. I started painting again when I realised my worth wasn’t hanging in the balance of every brushstroke. I started healing when I stopped bullying myself into movement and started loving myself into peace.

I learned to ask different questions:

• What do I need to feel safe enough to begin?  🤔

• What if starting small is still holy?  🤔

• What if I’m not behind — just becoming?  🤔

  
  

For You, if You’re in That Space Today

You’re not weak. You’re not behind. You’re doing sacred work — untangling your worth from your output. That’s brave.

If fear has held you frozen, know this: God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). That sound mind might whisper instead of shout. It might guide you gently, not urgently. And that’s okay.

So here’s your permission slip, friend: You don’t have to start perfectly. You don’t have to finish fast. You only have to take one small, faithful step.

And if you need to rest first, that’s holy too.

Here are some Journaling Prompts to help you discover the root

1. What task or project have I been avoiding? Why do I think that is? 🤔

2. When I imagine starting, what thoughts or fears come up? 🤔

3. What would change if I believed I didn’t need to be perfect — only present? 🤔

4. What does “becoming” look like for me in this season? 🤔

5. Write a compassionate note to your inner self, like you would to a friend. Use these words if helpful: “It’s okay to start small. It’s okay to feel scared. I’m proud of you for even thinking about it.”