I was born in Germany raised in SA. Having been conceived after an illegitimate brother and an aborted brother as well as being unplanned, I felt mom's guilt, shame & "Oh NO" in the womb resulting in my feeling unwanted & "I shouldn't be here" from my earliest moments. The spirit of death had wrapped around me in the womb & I spent a lifetime struggling with anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts & social anxiety because of the many foundational lies that I had come to believe. Striving for acceptance & perfection drove me to be a doer & a people pleaser but I had many inner vows like "I won't be vulnerable ", I won't ask for help" & "Nobody cares anyway" causing double-binds holding & me back. I had come to believe "I am a mistake" & a stronghold of shame & fear had been at the core of my very being, influencing my every action, every decision & driving me into a lifetime of performance, perfectionism & sacrificing myself on the altar of love & acceptance. But perfection doesn't exist & whenever I failed I beat myself up causing this lie to root even deeper & driving me deeper into shame, hopelessness & despair.
The enemy had attacked me on the area of my identity even before birth when mom wanted to call me Elisabeth but Oma insisted she give me a decent name because all the women in our family before mom were Elisabeth, so instead I became Patrizia, Elisabeth. Throughout my life I had judged, rejected & hated myself. I even despised & shied away from my names, (Patrizia meaning of noble birth & Elisabeth meaning God is my Oath) Due to many traumatic life experiences I had turned from life & come to believe I was not valued, unloved, worthless & a mistake. After an EH prayer ministry demo to dismantle my foundational lie that I was a mistake, I was told to claim my name back. Those who struggle with pronouncing my name, can call me Trixi, which is derived from my name & means bringer of joy.
BUT God... My journey from total meltdown about 5 years ago to restoration has been difficult but God has done life transforming work. After 9 hours healing prayer ministry via Zoom in 2020, completing all 4 EH schools which included 2 hours small group ministry each, working through a numerous workbooks & 3 sessions of prayer ministry I am finally able to embrace who God says I am, a woman of justice, strenghth, virtue & excellence, a human being NOT a human doing. God created me to resist evil. I'm a valiant warrior created to be someone that protects. Clothed in the righteousness & protection of Christ. My words have value & the lines have fallen for me in pleasant places.
Depression, anxiety & social anxiety in my experience were the fruit of unresolved trauma caused by emotional neglect, loss of identity & trying to be who we think others want us to be rather than who God created us to be. Pain that's unhealed doesn't go away but over time it grows & morphs until it erupts & causes us to bleed all over those around us. We need to embrace the fireball of pain to get to our healing.
Over the last 3 years I have pursued my inner healing & by the grace of God I've been walking in victory over a lifelong struggle with depression for close to 4 years now. It doesn't mean the spirit of heaviness never attacks, but I bounce back quickly & can stand strong in the knowledge that He who is in me is stronger than he who is in the world & when I'm weak, God's strength is revealed through me.
ART:
I have dabbled with all kinds of creativity throughout my life from knitting, sewing, crochet, embroidery, cross-stitch embroidery, drawing & now painting. My husband & I served in the Dance & Drama team for the first 2 years of marriage until we relocated from Cape Town to Johannesburg. I've also sung in the GAC, Northcross & Life church choirs for the past 7 years.
In 2017 just a few months before I went into meltdown, a friend convinced me to join her for a Graphic Design course at Animation College. The first assignment we received was to draw something. I hadn't drawn anything for well over 3 decades &went into panic mode but eventually drew this from a photo of our Toypom & realised I can still draw.
I picked up where I left off & did a couple of online drawing courses in 2019 & spent a whole lot of time drawing with improvement as I went along.
In September 2019, I joined a couple of people at Northcross church for a once a week painting get together. I would do Bible journaling but the leader regularly encouraged me to try painting until one day I was tempted to get some watercolour paints & painted this flower. "See you can paint"! She exclaimed & now this painting is my constant reminder that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, anytime I'm tempted to think I can't do something. We may start off where we left off when we stopped as children, but with time & effort our skills will improve.
Practice makes progress.
I have also ventured into digital painting. This one was based on Sandra's word during my 9 hours prayer ministry in June 2020 when she saw an anvil of lies over my head, which the Lord was replacing with a crown.
Art has played a major role in my journey to restoration. I spent most of the 2020 lockdown Bible journaling, learning more about creativity in the Kingdom & rediscovering my own abilities...
In Genesis 1 God introduces Himself as the master Creator when He created the world & everything in it.
When He made man, He made us in His image which means that we possess His creative DNA.
As a little child, EVERYONE draws, paints, sings & dances confidently but stops due discouragement by parents, teachers & society when they don't encourage us or tell us there's no future in art.
We hide our fear of rejection or not being good enough behind the foundational LIE we've come to believe: "I can't sing, dance, draw or paint".
For most people that aren't exceptionally "gifted" or flush with finances, there's not much opportunity available to discover or develop their creative talents. I would love to create a space for exploration & learning...
I don't teach fine arts. My desire is simply to re-ignite the flame of creativity in people's hearts to get them started on their journey of discovery, learning, healing & restoration.
PURPOSE:
Isaiah 61:1-4 has always been first & foremo on my mind when the question of purpose arises.
1“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me,
Because the Lord has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the broken-hearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
2To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord,
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
3To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”
4And they shall rebuild the old ruins,
They shall raise up the former desolations,
And they shall repair the ruined cities,
The desolations of many generations.
This is was Christ's annointing & as His followers it's safe to say that's what we too should be doing.
Art is a great tool in the healing process even proven by modern medicine hence art therapy & music therapy exists.
MISSION:
To help people re-connect with their God-given creative identity & see all God's children regain their confidence to sing again, dance 💃 again & create 🎨 again.
To see more healing, identity, wholeness & walking in who Christ created them to be.
To rebuild what the enemy has destroyed & restore creativity.
To take God's healing to the nations & bind their broken hearts with love.
VISION:
To change the world 🌎 1 heart ❤️ at a time.
Ultimately to create a creative community centre (kind of soup kitchen for the soul) where people can rediscover their creative identity, receive healing prayer ministry & learn to worship creatively.
To equip & train people in ALL kinds of artful expressions that will edify the church as well as bring healing & restoration to the lost & broken.
I often wonder why the Lord would choose someone like me for such an overwhelming vision. Like Moses, I stumble over my thoughts & words around people & overthink what I should have said after the fact but God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called who are willing & in my weaknesses His strength will be revealed. This is just me being willing...
EVERYONE can learn to paint these images & more! If you've always wanted to learn to paint but think you can only draw stick figures come join us for a step-by-step painting tutorial. Learn to paint your own masterpiece to take home & discover the healing power in creativity. Let go of the day’s troubles & have some FUN & fellowship with others & experience the WoW moment when you finish a painting & realize "I did that!"
Starting on Saturday 20th August, I'll host a paint party from 10am downstairs every 3rd Saturday & those who are unable to do the morning session there will be a smaller group session in my studio from 4pm.
Beginners are welcome!
All supplies are provided.
Step-by-step instructions.
Safe space to take a break from life, share your struggles & receive prayer & encouragement.
Fun, fellowship & friendship opportunity.
If you'd like to learn to paint please register online because space is limited to 20 people per session & I need to know how many canvases to prepare in advance. I'm a firm believer the Gospel & prayer ministry should always be FREE but will gladly accept any donations.
I also want to revive my Creative Connect Community that frizzled out during lockdown.
Friday mornings from 10am
If you are you a creative, looking for a supportive community, inspiration & fellowship please join at my home on East Coast Road, Mairangi Bay.
Bring your craft along for show & tell to share your giftings, inspire & encourage each other.
ALL Welcome & ALL forms of creativity is encouraged.
Please RSVP online so I can know how many to prepare for.